Saturday, February 2, 2008

A look into the Real Me...

Most of you guys know me as mommy or wife to Ro. But today I am going to give you the story to who I am and what made me who I am. I was born in 1980 to a wonderful couple named Debra and Stephen. I was the first grandchild and their firstborn in all ways I was the golden child. On my first birthday my parents conceived my sister and life from there was never the same. She was supposed to be the boy so I was pushed away for a little while and I was a little resentful I suppose what kid would not be. My grandparents however embraced me and loved me like I was the best thing since sliced bread. To make a long story short my sister was born and life went on.

My parents bought a house on Princeton and everything was supposed to be great. My mom took a night shift at the hospital so we could afford the mortgage. I remember walking over there with my smurf clutched in my arms so excited to have a backyard. This house would be the house to make or break me.

The years passed on and my parents marriage suffered. My mother became more and more frusturated with us girls. Her patience wore thin as her marriage suffered and she became very abusive. My memories unfortunately are mostly of her telling me to be a real woman and hit her back. I had many black eyes and many shed tears. Worst of all my dad would do nothing.

As I grew older I learned the best solution was to stay away from home. Find whatever activity I could become involved in and join. I had to balance school, home and relationships. I remember walking home a mile each way just so I could be in a club that would give me some sanity. I had infatuation with authority figures in my life and eventually i finally found a healthy relationship.

I was 12 years old. I met a neighbor boy and he would be my first real boyfriend. He was a good kid but it was not meant to be. We had to move my parents lost their house. We moved into a townhome and my sister and I had to share a room. It was very depressing. I honestly remember struggling for my life. I had an addiction to pain relievers if you could believe that. I took a bottle of tylenol in less then 2 weeks. I also became a religious fanatic. I was obsessed with weight loss.

In 1998 I graduated. My life turned around when I signed up for webtv. I met a wonderful man and my parents finally started to lighten up. My dad smacked me against a wall one night when I had talked to Ro for a 500 phone bill. I was fed up. That summer I had worked at a summer camp. I saved all my money for college payments. That night after talking to my love I decided to come see what a normal woman would do. I bought a plane ticket to Colorado and met my love.

December that year I hopped on a plane. I got off and looked in his eyes and honestly I never looked back. He has completed me and has helped me overcome all these hurdles. He is my life and I would not trade him for anything. My children will NEVER suffer any of this. I will turn myself into the authorities before my babies suffer. With Ro by my side I will survive. So ladies noone is perfect and no life is perfect. Now you all know just a little bit more about me.

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