Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I am terrified

When God throws curveballs he really throws them. I went to the orthopedic surgeon today and we got good and bad news. The break is not that bad but it is twisted so we have to manipulate it. Usually this is done in office but as lil man is wiggly and barely two we have to go to the hospital outpatient. They are going to give him anesthia and he will be away from me the whole time. My poor baby. If I did not feel like a great mom but now I feel even worse. My son is in pain and now is being put to sleep. My greatest fear of course. Our procedure starts at 12:15 mst. It will be over by 1:15. Lets hope October starts off right.

I know my last post was very heavy and I am heartbroken. It seems like my world was crashing. I am taking some steps with the help of a friend to turn things around. Keep us in your thoughts and please hug your baby's tight.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Why did I put it all in God's hands?

I was trying to be so upbeat. Someone must have it out for me I swear. It was going so good. We got Roana's pictures and they turned out so nice. We had lunch at my friends resturaunt. We were going to have a good night. God had other plans.

The time was around 7. Lil Ros arm was hanging and he was not using it. He had fallen off the chair and I did not think nothing about it. I then noticed his arm was hanging ackwardly. I knew instantly something was not right. I called Big Ro in the bathroom and off we rushed to Memorial Hospital.

3 Hours later and a copay later we have a broken arm. Right now his arm is immobilized and he is taking pain medications. I feel like a crappy mom of course but I am taking him to the orthopedic doctor today at 330. I hope things turn better and he learns from this. I sure have. I will take pictures tomorrow when his big boy cast is on.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

We had a nice day and it was very stress free

I woke up around 6 to do my daily trivia. Then I got motivated of course. I wanted to make my family a good breakfast. I looked in the fridge and staring back at me was a roll of sausage 2 cans of biscuits and some orange juice. I made us all some sausage gravy and biscuits. Then Big Ro asked me of my plans. We needed to go to Costco and get some milk and orange juice. Of course we needed tp too. So we got out of Costco around 11. By now the kids were a little hungry again. We grabbed a couple of hot dogs and sat down. Ro and I started talking about the car again. We decided to drive over and see a Land Rover for sale. Nope too much and needs the title to be transferred from Texas No way. So then I see the flea market. Lets go baby.

We payed our admission and walked around. We saw some dolls but passed them by as we knew the kids would just break them in a few minutes. Then we went over to the concession stand and saw fried twinkies. I bought 2 and a box of popcorn. Those things should be a sin. We walked back to the entrance and laughed. Just then I spotted a fruit stand. I tried some cantelope and purchased a watermelon and 10 ears of corn for 6.00. It was good.

We drove to a car lot and spotted a car we both agree on and I am going to call on it tomorrow. Who knows what will happen with that. I came home and made meat, potato's, and corn on the cob and we settled down for the evening. It was nice to be a family again and not argue. I hope we continue on this road.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

A new car, open road and haunted hotel Oh my what a day!

We got a new car. Well not really. We rented a car from Enterprise so we could get away from the stress of everyday life here. We went to chick-fil-a in the morning so we could let the kids release some energy. There were plenty of picture ops but someone took my batteries from the camera. LOL. After chick-fil-a we ran to enterprise. We rented a 2008 Cobalt and headed home to grab some diapers and some batteries. We went to the road and hit it hard.

I-25 to US 36, up the winding roads and overlooking the steep cliffs. A beautiful lake and fresh air we have hit our desination. Estes Park. Stanley Hotel to be exact. Ro and I love Ghost Hunters and they dubbed this hotel haunted so just to see it in person was a dream. It was much smaller then expected and very easy to find but very beautiful. It turns out we can during elk fest so we could not get out and enjoy the hotel to its fullest. But look in the left side in a oval window. I swear I see man looking out. Big Ro thinks I am crazy but maybe I had my first experience with a ghost a stanley. We will be going back. I feel drawn even at 200 dollars a night I have to stay.

The children had a good time of course. Roana is fascinated with spirits now but I guess that has always been something of interest for us. Today was mellow and good and not worrying about a car for a change was wonderful. Hopefully tomorrow is just as good.

Friday, September 26, 2008

We may get a car today

Well maybe not. We are having a really rough time right now finding our car. I think the problem was our old car was just perfect for us. It was given to us by our best friend and with so many good intentions I just feel like crap about it. We were going to look at a 1999 jetta but it had 200000 miles on it and quite frankly Jettas scare me. I think this weekend we are going to chillax and take a break from this car shopping. As a good friend on mine suggested I am putting it in God's plans he knows what is best. I will not fight with Ro about this any more it is so not worth it. I got my way of course. That honda sold today. So we are back at square one again.

I am trying to just enjoy life right now. I am playing with the kids and watching movies with my husband. I wish I could say my world is crashing around me to excite some people but we are taking it day by day. Life is a roller coaster and right now I am in a downward spiral but if I look up the ride is almost over. I will continue to be positive. Things will not get any worse unless I allow it. Life is only as bad as you want it to be. Enjoy some pics of my kiddos my whole life and my world.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What the heck is going on with me?

My son is not behaving any better and all Rogelio does is bitch about it. I am the one doing all the work with finding a car and Rogelio just drives there. Then bitches. For example, today I found a 96 saturn at a dealership for 1800 not to bad I guess and we drove over. He saw salesmen and hit the gas. He thinks I set him up for meeting them, Um no I do not want car payments at all why would I do that? Then we got into an argument because I do not want this honda. I am sorry I am not letting him make payments on a car that I am not sold on. 2 doors is not pratical in this situation at all. I feel like I am forcing him to buy a new car. Right now we drive a 1987 Suburau Wagon and I think my kids deserve more safety. We need airbags at least and shoulder seatbelts in the back. Why can he not understand this?

These kids do not want to sleep at all. They fall asleep around 11. Then I am just so burned out right now. I am frusturated with no straight answers. He wants to go to Mexico. I want to go to Ohio. He wants a new car. I want a nicer used car. I want to know what time he comes home so I can schedule appointments to look at cars. He wants to work until whatever time and deal with it on the weekends. We are having troubles right now and I guess I am just so frusturated.

My kids are naughty. They think the world revolves around them. My son does not even call me mom. Never has. He calls me Sissy.

I am trying to change my eating habits and are getting accused of an affair or wanting to leave him. My dogs keep peeing in their kennels and I feel like I am losing it. I am tired of taking the brunt. Anyone need a nanny with two kids? I am cheap. I promise just give me some refuge from all of it.

Monday, September 22, 2008

My 200th post

Someone or something is out to get me I swear. First the car accident on the 3rd and then yesterday someone almost hit us again and then tonight omg I am still in shock. Big Ro and I was sleeping soundly. For a change we were cuddling after a semi argument. We heard a pop and the electricty went off. I thought What the heck? The bill is paid. I go to the circuit breaker and turn on the hallway light. I smell a sickening smell of burnt plastic. I followed my nose and the fan's plug was melted to the wall. We came very close to having a fire and not even know it. I do not know what I did wrong but Karma is out to get me right now. I am starting to fear my life. Please keep me in your thoughts and I will have to follow all safety precautions for now. I hope nothing else goes wrong. Must think positive, must be positive.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

We needed a break

Of course we ended our day car browsing. I am aching all over. Need to take more ibuprofen of course. We went to the park and then went to chuck-e-cheese. For the first time my son understood the whole reason we were there. He laughed and ran and I for the first time really did not stress about where he was at and what he was doing. We ordered one pizza that was supreme and both kids ate all the vegtables.

We played with 130 tokens and the kids earned a good stash. A ball, a princess wand, a bag of cotton candy and a lollipop. Afterwards mommy and daddy drove around some more. We found 2 minivans that mommy likes. When all the settlement posts we will test drive them.

It was a pretty good day. I am not feeling up to typing much. Hopefully life was good for you all too.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I hate car shopping

This week was crazy so now Rogelio and I are preparing to find a new to us car. I never knew our tastes vary so much. Me I want a four door sedan or minivan. Him he wants a 2002 honda or a camaro. Ok. I thought we had a family now. LOL

We also went to our friends resturaunt today and also went and got some juice from Rancho. Hopefully soon we find our car. Not a dream one by any means but just a nice reliable car. Wish me luck.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Today was Crazy

My daughter Roana had no school today because of teacher's meetings. No way was I staying home all day with 2 kids and a raging headache. I grudgingly walked over to 7-11 and took out bus fair. Chapel hills mall and chick-fil-a here we come. The bus ride was fun except for the older lady who kept telling me to open my eyes when I kept asking Lil Ro questions about what this and that was.

We arrived a chick-fil-a and I got myself a chicken biscuit and sweet tea. I was in heaven and I watched my kids play in the play area. They laughed and played for 30 minutes. While I stared out the window I noticed a goodwill secondhand store. I grabbed the kids and we headed on out. Once we walked in we had to head straight to toys. I shuffled through and found to my surprise 2 like new build a bears. One was a monkey and the other a turtle. I was astonished by the price of 1.99 so I snatched those right up. NExt we went to the ties. My hubby loves garcia ties and to my astonishment once again I found one for 1.99.

From there on we went to kmart once again an tracked right back home. We had some bbq brisquet for dinner and all in all it was a good day. I have no complaints today but just a little stiffness. Hopefully a warm bath and some hugs makes it all better.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Fall Is Approaching quickly

As a child I remember fall meaning school bells and fresh text books. As a mother fall means getting ready for the big holidays. Until today I was in denial fall was in full force. Walking home from Target I looked to my right. I see a tree that has finally hit yellow. Also resting nicely on the tip of Pikes Peak is a patch of snow. How can it already be the end of Summer? How can the year be 3/4 of the way over? The older I get the faster it passes. I am anxiously counting the days until halloween. Then from there on we have Thanksgiving and Christmas and my baby will be 8. Where does the time go? What my grandpa says is so true. The slower we want it to go the faster time ticks away. Enjoy this time while it last. Breath the crisp fall air and watch your children frolic...life is way too short. We will patiently watch the trees change and I will watch my babies too.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What in the world?

We went from being antisocial to being very social. Today we were invited into Big Ro's company for another picnic. We went happily and they had yet another Brinca Brinca. The children collected their prizes and headed over to indulge in some hot dogs that were cooked over hot coals. We were munching down when Big Ro's name was announced over the loud speaker. We had won a dvd player. Granted we already have a couple I was psyched. We never win anything. Maybe our luck is changing a little bit. We finished our dinner and headed to our car.

The phone rang. It was our friend Pedro. He really needed to talk to Big Ro. While he chatted away I ran to K-Mart. My hardly favorite store. I got 2 pairs of shoes for the kids, 3 outfits and 2 toys for the whopping amount of $23. I was very happy that we had a good day. I did not take very many pictures but here are the few I did. Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

What a great Mexican Independence day

Today my plan was to stay home and just be with the family. God had other plans. Today we were so blessed because our best friend "Pedro" had his birthday. I am not using his real name as well you never know. He called me at 3 and told me to come to his house "para cenar" (for dinner). I knew it was going to be a blast. We showed up at the scheduled time and I was amazed.

His wife "Janie" brought me out a huge bowl of posole. It steamed in front of me and I ate it happily with tortilla chips. That was a bowl of pure heaven. Then she brought out some tostadas de ceviche. I cannot believe the flavor it secreted into my oral cavity. I still drool when I think of it. She was so sweet and I realize I am so blessed. I have found a new culture that accepts me. They love every single pound of me and appreciates who I am. I digress however.

After everyone had gotten their fill of food we headed out into the backyard. They had strung up a huge pinata filled with dulces. We laughed out loud as all of us got a shot at the pinata with a baseball bat and we all sang the traditional "bate" song. Finally the pinata exploded and we all scrambled to our knees to get some of that precious gold. The kids smiled as they popped candy into their mouths and found pure happiness.

Finally we headed into the kitchen and I was kind of saddened that this evening had ended so quickly. We walked into the dining room and the cake was lit. They had placed a pratical joke on the cake and said he was 52 insted of 32. We all laughed as we sang happy birthday and cut the tres leches cake. They handed me a slice of heaven and I headed out onto the back deck to eat it. The sky was growing dark and the stars were starting to twinkle in the sky. In the corner of my eye I saw a shooting star. It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.

I know some days I moan and complain that nothing is going right. But then something as simple as a brothers birthday knocks me back into reality. Life is a gift. I am fortunate to have great friends that love me as a family. I am going to focus on the good things in life and try to keep on moving on. If we focus on the bad we will get what we focus on. By the way "Happy Independence day my mexican friends" I hope you all had a great one too.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Oh My goodness I love my new car.

I was on Craigslist looking at cars in our budget and I came across a 2001 Honda civic. It is located in NJ. I emailed the guy and let him know I was interested. I got a response. I cannot look at it. I cannot test drive it. I just got to pay in good faith. HAHA yea I know that trick. Its a scam. I send you money and I never see the car of course. It is sad that in this day and age people are still trying to take advantae of those less fortunate. Most likely the people who really need it only have that much to spend. It is sickening.

Today was a good day. Big Ro and I got excited because we thought we found our dream car in our budget but when we went and looked at it. It was all beat up and pretty sad looking. Thank goodness we could actually look at it. We are going to be patient car shopping. Thank goodness we have the Suburu to drive in the meantime. Today we are turning the rental in as we have reached a settlement. I am sad now and realize we will never have our beloved Saturn again. RIP Saturn hopefully you were as happy with us as we were with you.

Tomorrow is a new day. I need to motivate myself and I need to stop saying no. Hope all is well out there in blogland with you all. And by the way if it seems to good to be true 99.9 percent chance it is.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Just another Lazy Sunday

We were supposed to go to Estes Park however after some serious considerations and a $54.00 fill up we decided to hang around town. We drove to Rancho Liboria and had breakfast. I had two carne al pastor tacos and a sope de pastor also. We also bought our groceries of course.

We came home and I put the groceries away quickly. I had no clue where we were going to go next. Big Ro drove up our main Road and we ended up at Chapel Hills Mall. We walked inside and went to K-Mart. There I found 2 beach towels, 2 pairs of spongebob pajamas & 2 pairs of Wall-E pajamas for the whopping price of 10.56. While I was there I checked out the car seats and noticed one on clearance for 28.00. To myself I thought I will come back when the settlement comes back.

We walked in the mall and went to the pet store. Then we walked down to the play area. I had barely taken off my sons shoes and he was going to play when a 4.5 year old slammed into him. Lil Ro clearly was the one who got the full impact of the hit yet the other child went screaming to his mother. She shot me a dirty look and then lil Ro felt the pain. After that he wanted nothing to do with the play area.

Finally headed out to the car. I looked at Big Ro and I mentioned the car seat. He then asked me "What are you waiting for?" We went back and grabbed it and now it is installed in our older car.

The rest of the evening passed quickly. Big Ro slept and I made a chicken with macaroni & cheese and tomatoes for dinner. It was so very nice. We played our xbox and then looked for cars. Sometimes the best days are the days were you dont do very much....don't you all agree?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

It was a very Busy day

Today was the day where we ran nonstop. Roana, Lil Ro and I went over to McDonalds at 1 pm so we could attend our first non family party. I loved sitting around talking to the other moms and feeling safe. I just wish I would have had time to get numbers.

Quickly at 3 we had to run out to Big Ro's bosses house. I was astonished at how much he went out. We had hot dogs, hamburgers, sushi, smoked salmon and I even tried venison. He also rented a huge brinca brinca for all the kids to play with. I honestly feel like we are part of his company's family now instead of just another face that could be replaced.

All in all it was a good day. I took a lot of pictures but I am going to wait until Tuesday to upload them to the computer. This weekend is turning out alright so far.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Its Friday

Today was a low key day. Basically we had Wendy's and stayed at home. Tomorrow is going to be our busy day. We are going to two different party's. The first one is a little friend of Lil Ro's her name is Sierra. She is gorgeous and hoot. Then afterwards we are going to his bosses for an end of summer bash with brinca brinca and all.

Tonight Big Ro and I curled on the couch and watched Dog and Ghost hunters. I am hooked. I am getting very stressed about this settlement but I know God has plans and I will follow them.

My children are continuing to flourish and every day I realize how lucky I am to be called mom. Life is good right now and I am living it.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Explaining 9/11 & more

9/10 & 9/11 is bad for us. Today my sweet daughter saw the flags half staff and asked me why. I forgot my baby was just a baby the day this happened. She is too innocent to remember but I must make her understand. I took her hands and sat her on a park bench by the school. I went on to describe tbe terror that occured that day. I explained how we are a rich country or at least was and that other nations could not stand us for that. I then told her how a couple of bad guys crashed some planes into very important buildings here in our country. She started shaking and I looked at the flag. She then asked me mommy will they hurt me too? I told her no not today as thanks to those souls who lost thier lives and the current ones who risk their lives for us that we are safe. I told her to be proud to be an american. We are united even though sometimes we do not act like it. She hugged me and ran to class satisfied for now. When she is older I will pull up the videos but for now the curiosity is filled. It breaks my heart she is now getting to the age where she notices things like this. She also has empathy for those lives loss. I am doing a good job with her.

I was really in the mood to take pictures today but thanks to some scavenger my camera was missing. It really did not help that I still have memory loss. I am getting my thoughts back slowly but surely. I finally found the camera but by the time I did picture opportunities were lost.

We are making plans this weekend. We are thinking of taking a drive into the moutains. A place called estes park. We might pack a picnic lunch or we may just buy something on Sunday. Saturday is my big game. I am so excited. Go Bucks Beat those Trojans! LoL I have good news on my cell phone. It was not water damaged so they are covering it under warranty but even if not the other guys insurance will cover it. Life is slowly resuming to normal. I still miss that car and I am still traumatised but it will all work out as long as I have faith. Hope all is well out there with all of you.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

4 years already?

Time really does fly when you are having fun. I always thought that September 11 would be a bad day. I never imagined that my life would change on September 10th. I felt sorry for all the family's that had lost loved ones and thanked God I was fortunate enough to not know anyone who was harmed. But then it happened. September 10th 2004 Rogelio and I both had the day off. We had went to blockbuster video to rent a couple of games and then went to Golden Corral for the first time ever. I had an argument with my mother the night before over an unplanned trip. I was going to call her. I looked over at my caller id and I saw 10 missed calls. I then checked my answering machine fearing the worse. On the voice my grandma is crying. She tells me Susan Honey I have to tell you something. Oh god how do I tell you this? Your mama was in a car accident honey. She had to go to the hospital. She passed away honey call me when you get this. My heart shattered into a million peices.

I picked up the reciever and dialed my grandparents number. They confirmed the bad news. I could not take the pain. I collapsed into bed and bawled. My baby Roana was barely 3 but she heard the pain and came and cried on the bed with me. From there on my sister and I planned our trip to my mothers funeral.

Big Ro and I left Roana here in Colorado and flew to Tennessee to bury her. It was a beautiful funeral and my sister and I wrote a poem for my momma. We even read it at her funeral. I know she is better off now. She has no pain and does not need to worry about the breast cancer returning. She is most likely better off now then most of us.

Many days I feel sorry for myself. I cry for my children. They will never know their grandma. I cry for that relationship lost. Yes we have great grandma & grandpa but it is not quite the same. Grandmas spoil and love you no matter what. Some of my best memories are with my grandma. However thinking about it right now I know my kids have something more then a grandma. They have a guardian angel. She never leaves us and no matter what protects my children. I will always miss my mom but to dwell on it does her unjustice. I will keep the good memories and learn from the bad.

Today if you have parents please tell them you love them. Hold them close. I pray it doesnt but you never know. You could lose them tomorrow and never have the chance to tell them I love you. If you are interested here is a link to her poems. When I read them she is still alive with me. Love each other as you never know.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

My Best friends live on my Computer

I should have known this miraculous device would determine my life. I met Big Ro on here and look where we are at in life. My mother met her husband on here and shhh can you keep a secret? My sister met her husband here too. We are just techies I guess.

I have had a down couple of days honestly. I miss my mom. I am stressing about this car accident. I have days of no pain and then I feel like screaming. Then my dh broke my heart when he denied me. Well fast forward to my wonderful online friends. I went on the website I frequent and told them my problems. They comforted me and made me feel loved. I love my computer. My best friends live in it. Thanks for the support ladies.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

One step forward, two steps back

Saturday and Sunday we tried to get some sense of normalcy back into our life. I still am in disbelief and now I am starting to become a little depressed. I called the nurse on duty and she said with a concussion that is expected. When Big Ro came home from work we wanted to get out and spend some time with the kids. We went to Subway and grabbed a couple of Sandwiches and went to a local playground to watch the kids play like normal. I am trying to let them forget the accident and also trying to forget it myself. But I have irrational fears. I fear other cars. I fear the unexpected. I guess that is expected. Life is short I know it. I just have to live it. I apologize if I am rambling. It is kind of hard to try to keep a train of thought right now. My mind kind of wanders and it really frusturates me. Like last night I had to go into the shower and cry my eyes out. I hate being like this. I truly do. I need to be in control. I need to have power but right now I realize I need to wing it.

I wish I had family here to help. Unfortunately my friends are all busy with their own routines to help us out. So healing is going to take longer then expected. I know I am blessed and honestly I know they care. Heck they brought me dinner 3 nights in a row so that did help wonders. I just need to be patient and step back and relax.

The reason why I named this the way I did is because I realize life goes on but it seems like every struggle is is pushing me back. For example we took the dogs to the park. Rex got away and I had to chase him. Of course that led to a major headache and dizzy spell which frusturated me more. I just want to be normal again. I took some pics of our attempt at normal life. Enjoy

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Can help but to question myself

Now that reality is setting in about this whole accident I cannot help but question a lot of things. I know that God will not give me more then I can handle but I still feel very dazed and confused and I do not like it. For example this morning I turned the bathtub on to clean it out and I went back an hour later and forgot it was turned on. Water is all over the floor and I am still kicking myself. How long will I be this way? Its not fair. I have no patience and I am getting distracted very easy. I have no energy and get wiped out just talking on the phone. Why is God testing me so? Why did this happen? Will I learn from it if I cannot remember anything? I guess it is a good thing I have this blog. I will actually be able to reflect to these days and remember this test if for some reason I do not heal properly. I am scared of that. Will I have to always carry my phone number around or fumble for words? I guess I am being punished for being too strong of a woman and needed to be knocked back to reality. Oh well...just had to get this off my chest. I am off to clean the apartment or at least attempt it again. I will keep updating

Friday, September 5, 2008

Update on Me

I finally went to the doctor. After a discussion Big Ro and I decided to take the pictures down. We think it was too graphic and he does not like looking at them. I hope I do not look like an elephant man for too long. Know what I mean? I went to the doctor yesterday and my greatest fear was confirmed. I have a concussion. I cannot remember most of the accident anymore unfortunately. I can just describe the aftermath. I saw our car yesterday and I cried. My heart breaks so much. I loved that car more then any other material possession. The good news is we are getting a car rental right now. Until a settlement is reached we are driving a 2008 PT Cruiser.

Rogelio took the day off of work today to take care of me. I am feeling very weak, nauseous, dizzy and sometimes I ache all over. The doctor ordered me to take 3 ibuprofen every 4 hours in combination with excederin with the pain. I finally went and got all my medications and am feeling some kind of relief. I am going to try to keep blogging. It relaxes me but please realize I am not going to be myself for at least 4 weeks.

Big Ro is pretty banged up now too. His sinuses may be damaged. We will find out by Monday after the doctor reviews his xrays. So life is ok right now. We are alive and grateful for our children. We are kind of testy but that is understandable. I am going to lay down again as just typing is wearing me out. Hope all is well with everyone else.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Just when I thought it Could not get worse

Rio is still alive thank goodness. He survived the last 10 hours so I think he is safe. We went to our favorite resturaunt for dinner but however we did not get to enjoy it at all. Lil Ro was getting cranky in the car as usual. So Big Ro and I decided to bring the food home. We were driving down the road just chatting and then next thing I remember is smoke. Our car was hit on the drivers side. I screamed bloody murder tore my door open and ran to get my kids out. Roana was already out of the car screaming and little Ro's car seat was tipped to the side. He was also crying very loudly. Big Ro climbed out threw my side and ran over to the man screaming look at what you did to my wife Mother fucker.

I did not know what he was talking about at first. I grabbed my son and ran frantically to the curb. Then a lady grabbed me by the shoulder and ordered me to sit down. I looked down and on the concrete I was dripping blood. My face has been cut multiple times by the airbag. Finally the ambulance arrived and determines I am in shock. Well Yeah I am traumatized almost 4 years ago my mom died in car accident and now I am in our first one ever. I still remember those sirens and my childrens tears. I pray I never have to go through that again. They went ahead and sent me home. I cannot sleep right now because all I hear is the screech and I can just hear the tire shred and smell the smoke. I will not complain about my children anymore. I realize now that I could have lost it all tonight and I do not ever want to deal with that again. I will post pictures of my face tomorrow so you can see my damage. Right now it looks even worse. Hope all is well with you all out there.

Today is not that great

It is only mid day and I need to blog. Right now Lil Ro is sleeping after crying himself to sleep. I had to discipline him. He actually got spanked today. I had not spanked him in almost 2 weeks. He is driving me bonkes. You remember we got a new fish and we have a betta of course. Well my son decided this morning that the fish needed some food. Cool right? Well wrong. He got ahold of the goldfish food and dumped it all into the betta's tank. He even created a step ladder. Ok once I understand no spanking and I was partially to blame. So I took the remaining food and stuck it on top of the fridge. No way he could get that. I am hearing silence as I email big Ro and I go into the kitchen. Bam the water is black and Rio is laying on his side. I cried out. I love this dang fish it is crazy he is 1.5 years old and I do not want him to die. I grab a plastic cup and scoop him out of his bowl and change the water quickly. Now he is depressed and stressed. Oh please dont let Rio die. Of Course Cana is fine. She is swimming quickly and happy as can be. This sounds silly but please pray for Rio. I will be devestated if something happens to him.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I have created a Monster.

Today was back to normal. Same old routine different day. Lil Ro and I woke up and took his sis to school and walked over to the dollar tree for a few more necessaties. It was there I spotted them. Strawberry & Chocolate Pop tarts. Mommy had to have some so for a buck I bought two packages. We came home and sat on the couch and opened a package. I drooled a little as I fell in love and lil Ro grabbed one. He is also in love and since this evening has finished one box. I indulged them a little bit but now I am worried what if they are discontinued?

I cooked dinner tonight. We had crockpot bbq chicken and macaroni & cheese with sliced tomatos. It was pretty good. Big Ro and I watched tv for a bit and then we went to the room and played our game system again. I am so blessed and I hope I feel this way for the rest of my life.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Labor Day, what a blast?

So daddy had the day off today. I love it when we can sleep in past six AM. We laid in bed and chatted about life and the mistakes that have happened since we got together. The kids heard us and came screaming in our room and jumped into the bed with us. We took the dogs out to do their business then headed over to a park we had not been to in awhile.

The kids ran like wild bansees and played very hard. In Roana's new lunch box I packed 4 pears, 2 oranges and 3 bottled waters. We ate our pears and drank our water and just took in the good times. I sometimes wonder if I give my kids enough. I feel bad when i have to tell them no on something they want. But then I think. I am giving them memories and love and truly is that not the most important thing besides food and water.

Most of our day was spent chillaxing in the apartment. We played the xbox 360 and chomped on the food around the house. Of course we got some tacos for dinner. Sometimes the best days are just the days where you wing it.

Big Ro and I talked about his sister and life as she knows it. We have not talked to her in 2 weeks but I have to get in touch with her. Things are so different now and its not even funny. I love Maria. She is the best sister a girl could ask for. I called her crying one day and she made me feel 100 times better. I am so blessed in this life. I am healthy, happy and have the world's greatest family. What more could a woman want? Nothing I tell you. If I died tomorrow I would truly be happy and that my friends is the best feeling in the world.

Please excuse the purple neck. My son was playing with markers and I did not realize it was there. LoL