I am fulfilling dreams

Most mommy's when their babies start Kindergarten and Fifth Grade go back to work. I am continuing my journey to improve myself. I have lost 50 pounds. I have set life goals and I have finally written a bucket list. Back in 2003 before my mother passed I remember her telling me "My dream is to come back to Colorado Springs and ride in the balloon classic." That stuck with me. My sister and I even discussed coming back to doing it together. This year I finally got a chance. It was a slim chance. On Qdoba Colorado Springs facebook page I saw a contest. The only catch was to have friends like your comment. Then even then it was not guaranteed. I ended up being in 2nd by likes by almost 20 votes. I kissed my balloon ride goodbye. Friday afternoon they were getting ready to announce the winner. My heart was beating, my eyes were watering. I was ready to say congrats to the winner. I was sitting in my newfound friends house when I checked facebook. Imagine my surprise when they announced "Congrats Susan. We will contact you with details on Monday." I screamed out with joy and ran out the door. I would be fulfilling my mother and I's dream for free like a VIP.

The whole time I was very worried about who would be watching my kids. Thankfully a friend of mine stepped in and watched them for me. After I found a friend to watch the kids my heart started pounding. I knew weather would be a huge factor for me. If the wind was too strong we would not fly. I began stalking the news and weather stations.

Finally after 5 days of anticipation and fear Saturday came. My heart was pounding. I woke up and got dressed. I showed up on the field and was shaking. I met our crew and they all embraced me. I told them my story and the ladies became very tearful. They promised No matter what I would fulfill my mamas dream. Unfortunately on Saturday Mother nature had another plan. The winds were way to dangerous so I would have to come back on Sunday.

Saturday night the kids had their first sleep over with my new friend and her children. Ro and I woke up on Sunday and waited for the stagemaster to hoist a green flag. My friend Cathy on our crew came up and told me "You are going up, it is a go." My heart pounded as I helped pull out my soon to become Beloved Splash. I fluffed her beautiful black and rainbow colored envelope. My heart bang in anticipation as she finally came to an upright. My new friend Tom took me by the shoulder and told me to jump on in. The sky was waiting. Ro followed suit and our journey began.

Slowly the pilot Fred, ascended us into the vast azure sky. We were rising above the tree tops and my breath quickened. Fred has over 30 years experience so I know I am in good capable hands. We flew over the trees, we flew over a golf course, we flew above other balloons. All in all our flight was about 1 hour long. I felt no pressure, no fear only immense joy. My fears were replaced with a new feeling. I was high from natural causes. The sky is now my new happy place. As quickly as it began I hear Fred say "Bend your knees." As quickly as my journey started it came to an end but my head remained over 1000 feet above my current location. The crew showed up at the lot we landed in however it was unaccessable. A lighter female of the crew jumped in and took a quick hop over to a large parking lot. At the parking lot we quickly went to work. We got our beloved Splash! back to her resting place. She was folded and the whole crew declared our flight a success.

Ro and I assumed that this journey was over. We assumed we would be returned to our vehicle and said goodbye. They turned and told us. No now it is our tailgate party. After a 15 minute drive to the point this dream just began, we got out of our chase vehicle. We walked hand in hand just a little awestruck. We sat and ate cheese and crackers. Then imagine our surprise when they called us over. The popped a bottle of champagne and initiated us into the crew. They told us now we are part of the family. I once again became teary eyed for my mama and me and told them they are so much more then a crew. I have included pics of the initiation which included the Balloonist Prayer. Then they presented us with a flight certificate and the empty bottle of champagne with some dirt from our landing site. I could not have asked for a better crew.

My dear friends, this was just a dream this time last year. I know in my heart of hearts something bigger played a hand in this. My original flight was scheduled for my grandpas birthday, just the week before the anniversary of my mamas death. I am here to tell you faith is bigger then just you and I. I can also say, dreams can come true. When you are not even expecting them too. Dreams are not just dreams, they are future reality. You just have to keep faith and stay strong. I know in my heart everyones dreams can come true if you continue to believe. This is nowhere near the end of my journey with Splash! I have made lifetime friends. I miss them already and cannot wait to see them next Balloon Classic. I wish I could surprise them with a visit to Albuequrque. But even if I do not, I know in 2012 I will be welcomed again with open arms. Family is who we make it...all things are possible. I do not want to wake from this dream but I can relive it with pictures and video and in my head. I am so very blessed and I pray everyone gets a chance to do this.
The Crew

The Patty Jewett Golf Course Birds Eye View

Just another lucky soul living the dream

The Balloon Classic From A View Others Rarely See

Three More Dreamers

Ro, Frank Our Pilot, And Me Ready to Launch

Ro and I in front of our Beloved Splash! Before she is inflated fully

Part one of the initiation

You want me to do what?

This is before directions.

Beloved Splash! doing a splash and dash

To Me Splash! Is the most beautiful Balloon in the World

My babies are Not Babies Anymore

Today is a big day. Today is the day I have dreaded since the moment that positive pregnancy test showed up with two dark lines. Today was the day both my children was going to be handed over to the world to be taught. No longer were these wonderful little creatures going to be huddled and protected by their mommy tiger. They were going to learn to interact, be disciplined and deal with consequences. They are going to learn that every action they have will have either a positive or negative consequence with their lives. Today my babies are both children. My son a kindergartner just beginning his school career and my daughter the fifth grader is going to be top dog.

The day started out as any other day. We woke up and walked over to our closets. My daughter wore a cute little outfit of a striped shirt, cami and a new pair of jeans while my son layered a plain polo with a checkered shirt and jeans. Both my babies looked so big as they heaved their backpacks over their shoulders. I followed them closely as they held hands. I smiled at them both even if I felt like I wanted to throw up. No longer could I protect him. He was going to have another female influence in his life. Ro grabbed my hand and reassured me that it was going to be okay. Kindergarten assessment made my heart scream it is too early. He is not ready. However, my brain told me "Mama it is time to let go."

The children have breakfast at school since it is cheaper for them to eat there then it is for me to cook. I helped lil Ro pay for his breakfast and lunch. He came to the table and ate eagerly with his sister. I walked out the gym and stood in the hall fighting back choking tears. Ro just grabbed my shoulder and squeezed them. I knew he would be okay. He had to be.

Soon the bell rang for morning recess. A large group of kindergarten mommies and I walked out to the primary playground. Lil Ro did not hesitate one time. He ran to a spring horse and started talking. He is my social butterfly you know. He played his heart out and I just stood there staring feeling as though a arm or leg had been removed. How am I going to survive without my baby? How will I get through the days?

After 15 minutes of morning recess the bell rang once again. Now the kids needed some direction. We helped them on with backpacks and walked towards our doors. You could tell us kindergarten mommies were stressed. We all wandered around like lost puppies but were putting up a front of smiles. I snapped a couple of group photos. I got one of him while walking out the door. He looked at me like I was supposed to stay. But a clean break was easiest.

Ro tried his best to keep me busy. It was very hard. I missed my son. I missed my shadow. But thankfully the day passed by very quickly and soon it was time to pick him up. He had a wonderful day and came out running to my arms. Thankfully he is enjoying school and I know in time I will learn to enjoy my free time. We take 5 years to mold our beautiful children and then at 5 we have to let them go. They have to develop into their own people and make their own decisions. Then our job is to worry and pray they do their best. That is all I ask of my children to do their best and they will make me proud.

Just a fun Summer of Swimming

This summer has been an adventure of zoo, parks, dentists and even amusements parks but our favorite part has been the pool. It's free, fun and keeps us entertained for hours. Someday's I complain about everything and everyone but it could be worse. We have our health, we have been blessed but most of all we have each other. No big vacations but I pray this is the year we cherish most.

Almost back to perfect!

Today was a great day. As of today my daughter is almost back to perfection. You tell me? Did the doctor do a good job?

And let me say, THANK GOD FOR DENTAL INSURANCE! Yes that is capitalized. Because this only cost me $34 and that was with a cleaning and flouride. Without we would have went broke. My beautiful princess is looking awesome again.

As a reward we went to Uncle Wilbers park to play in the fountain and the kids had a blast. I just have to remember, it is only money and things could be so much worse. I am so very blessed. After looking at those beautiful smiles who can disagree with me?

Sigh, my beautiful girls smile!

Oh my goodness! I just want to cry. As of today I have dealt with broken arms, bronchitis and even an occasional flu. But today is the day I prayed I would never have to do. Today on this very rainy day my daughter fell on the slide and broke her tooth straight down the middle. I am so angry with her and so scared. My poor baby is a snaggletooth! She no longer has the perfect smile. How am I going to fix this? Thank goodness for dental insurance. We have an appointment on Thursday. Hopefully, it looks just as good as before or I will be heartbroken. Not a boring day at all.

Where the Wild Things Are

One of my favorite things to do is the zoo. What is even better when I can go to the zoo for free. Things are very tight and our local moms club sponsored a day there and all we had to do was sit through an 30 minute presentation for a full day of fun. I met up with a lady I have known for 4 years online but never really got the chance to meet in person. She had to leave early but we had a blast spending all day there. We slept good that night. Cheyenne Mountain Zoo where we meet the wild!

12 year of Love and Happiness

Today is Ro's and I 12 year anniversary. I do not think I ever shared how we met. So here is the story for those who have never heard.

One night as I was hosting soccerchat I was greating all the people who came into our little room. A name came on called Roger23. I was alottaluv (because I have a lot of love to give). I messaged him to just say hi. He ignore my message and left the room. (later he told me he went to a latinochat). The next day he came on again and I messaged him again. I told him Hi. He still did not reply so I private messaged him. Hi, it's rude not to say hi. He responded back with the message A/S/L. I knew I was taking a chance answering but back then the internet was such much more innocent. I told him 18/F/Ohio. We chatted into the night and finally signed off intrigued with eachother.

The following day before I went to college I got on to send him a message telling him how much I enjoyed our chat and how I could not stop thinking of him. I realized I forgot to get his email. (Stupid me. Back then our email would be our screen name @webtv.net) I ran into the room we chatted and frantically asked everyone if I could have his email. One of his friends told me if he wanted me to have it. I would have gotten it. I was upset when his other friend came on. He told me Are you Susan? I said yes thats me. He told me then that Roger told him about a amazing woman he met on there and gave me his address. He then warned me that I better not hurt him. I had no intentions. This was in October of 98.

I later found out he lived in Colorado and was from mexico. We lived 1500 miles apart but I was determined to make this work. For exactly one week our chats were only online. One day he finally told me he needed to hear my voice. He emailed me calling card and his number. I was very nervous when I picked up the phone. I picked up the phone and dialed the number. It informed me that the phone number was disconnected. I was sad and hurt and emailed him. He asked me for the number I was calling. I gave it to him and it turned out he had mixed up the area code. Our calling card was for 2 hours and I called him back. We talked the night away and we both fell asleep holding the phone to our cheek.

When I woke up that morning I knew I had to meet this man. I was head over heels and did not care what people said. My parents warned me that he could be using me. His mom told him I would not understand his culture. We both cried as we talked about ending it for the sake of our families. Before ending it I told him we had to meet in person to make sure it would be over. I had worked all summer in a summer camp and babysitting. I raised 1000 for my personal spending and school costs. I decided I would come out during winter break and visit him. He agreed.

December 5th, I got on a plane in Columbus Ohio. I cried as i hugged my dad and got on the plane for the first time ever. I sat next to a business man and showed off his pictures. He told me that the man I met was a lucky man because he could sense the love we had. He shook my hand as I watched him greet his family.

I stepped off the plane at DIA and I was last off. I was terrified. What if he did not show? What if he hated how I looked? What if I really was a monster? I looked up trying not to cry. Standing in front of me I saw a young handsome man. He was holding a big boquet of balloons and a dozen red roses. He questioned "Susan". I said "Rogelio?" He shook his head and we embraced. We did not even kiss that first meeting. He hugged me so tight that the balloons floated to the top of DIA. I giggled and he apologized. I probably appeared dumb. But that is what 2 hours of sleep will do.

We went to his car and I met his sister and roommates. I sat up front and we held hands the whole time. I was mesmerized by him...by his friends and by this scenery. I felt like I was home.

We went to dinner at a mexican restraunt. I was scared to try anything. I ordered a mexican hamburger and barely touched it. I was so scared he would see the fat me and run. After dinner we went to the pool hall. We played a round and I sucked and he told me let's go play this video game. I am pretty good at it. It was called NFL Blitz. He got a good score and I hugged him. When I hugged him, he turned around and kissed me. It was the best kiss I ever got in my life. We went to the blockbuster next door to rent a movie and he apologized to me. I asked him why? He told me he did not mean to kiss me for the first time in a dirty pool hall. He had planned it to happen on the bridge at the lake across the street overlooking downtown Denver. I was very happy that it happened though because now I could kiss him all over again.

When we left blockbuster we got into his camaro and that marked the beginning of our lives. I do not regret any moment or the way it happened. It was not the most romantic but it was special. I do not find a day where I do not think of that day and smile. It will be special to me until the day I die. Sorry this is so long but it was a long story to tell.

My Last Day being 30

I am looking back this past year and surprisingly it has not been a bad year at all around here. Ro finished school in May. Ro and I celebrated our 12th anniversary. We have made it OK. We bought a minivan. I lost 21 lbs. Life is good. I am blessed.

About now I sit here and think of my mama. I think of all the pain she endured 31 years ago waiting for my big head to pop out. Then I think of how she did adore me if she brought me into this world. She made me who I am and who I am going to be. She taught me strength and taught me tears. She taught me all I know. 31 years ago this woman gave birth to an incredible woman. Me of course. Thank you Mama for enduring it all. I will make the most of everyday. You are missed and I love you. Happy Labor Day mom.

Here we Go Mustangs, Here we Go!

Last week was supposed to be our first soccer game but the flu hit our house and my poor son was heartbroken. As he vomited he cried to me "But mama I am letting my team down." My heart sank for my baby but I am sure those parent's did not really want me exposing our team's to the icky bug. So instead we called the arena and let them know we would not be there. They were understanding and told me just to get him better.

I bought his cleats and shin protectors and today we got up at 7:30 so we could make a breakfast. I made sausage, bacon, eggs and english muffins. Then we put him in the tub so he would be so fresh and clean.

8:45 we walk into the room and he runs to the field looking for a ball to practice. He is so excited and when they exclaim "Mustangs" Then the roll call he goes running to his team mates. I teared up a bit as my little baby looked so large out there with those kids.

The game started at 9 and Lil Ro played maybe 50 percent of the game. He was very happy and did get one technical when he used his hands. We need to practice more at home but we are learning he does good. He just needs to learn the fundamentals.

The game ended at 10 and the kids had a blast. The lined up and said "Good game" and shook hands. They got together as a team in a huddle put in all their hands and threw them into the air exclaiming "Mustangs". The final score was 2-0 mustangs. Lil Ro did not score but he did his best and that is most important.

1:15 was t-ball practice and like I suspected that was his good sport. We need to practice fielding a bit but he dominates hitting. He uses his force and focuses on the ball. He is going to feed that hunger and become all the player he deserves to be.

Basically I am becoming the mom I swore I would never become. I am a soccer mom, a sports mom. I am the one standing behind the net screaming for every team player. My heart bursts with joy when my son succeeds and falls in disappointment when he fails. But either way my son is learning teamwork and how to have fun. That is most important. I dream of the day he becomes a baseball player. If we continue to feed this hunger it will happen. We just have to keep believing and supporting him. He is perfect just the way he is. I love my life. Its not perfect but every time I do something for them they just become a little happier and healthier.