Wednesday, April 30, 2008

What I would love for Mother's Day!

I would really love to win One million dollars but realistically since I don't play the lottery that is not happening the closest that I will see that money is bushes stimulus package. LoL.

Mothers day is very hard for me. I know its supposed to be about you as a mother but I always look back and reflect on my mother. I miss her daily. I hear my hubby talking to his mom on the phone and I miss that bond so much. It amazes me. Before I became a Mexican by marriage I did not think much of dear old mom, but when I see his relationship I long for so much more. When mom passed on in 2004 I swore I would celebrate each mothers day honoring her the way she deserved yet I am lacking.

This mother's day. Money willing of course I am making plans. I will take the children to seven falls and walk the path I walked with my mother before they were born. I will release a green balloon into the sky to remind myself she is still watching. I will enjoy my children and also mourn her in silence. Life is hard without a mother to advise you. I wish I had relished every moment in time with her. I wish I had never muttered the words I hate you as a child.

Life is hard without her but I will keep moving forward. My children carry part of her. They always will. So for this mothers day I wish for her. I wish she knew my children. I wish for lots of things. Realistically I know what will happen. I will get a warm bath and tough steak and lots of tears. For mothers day just give me that well deserved break and a peice of sausage.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

My Baby Is A Big Boy

So Tuesday was the big 2 and I was very emotional. I made cake and tomorrow I am taking the kids by myself to celebrate. I am taking them to Pizza Hut and Toys R Us then the dollar tree. I am so blessed to have beautiful children and a decent man. He actually does care about me. Talking his friend invited him out to somewhere on Sunday. He looked at me concerned and said baby then I cant spend time with you. I will be fine honey. I will take the kidlets to that new park across the street. Have fun. I am learning if you hold onto your man too tightly like a butterfly it will crumple and die. I regress.

Today was Ro-Ns weigh in at his WIC appointment. For these first few months he has been below the chart. Well finally we got on the chart hurray!

He weighed in at 25 lbs 8 ozs 18 %

He was 35 1/4 inches tall 70% height.

I am renaming him the weed. Just wanted to brag. Thanks for looking

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

My Joy, My Son

Ever since we had our daughter in December of 2000 we dreamed of having 2 or 3 children. We tried very hard when she turned 2 to start conceiving again. My mother passed in September of 2004 and I mourned her death accordingly. I prayed to God to bless me with another child and went on living life. I was working as a customer service tech for Virgin Mobile when I was shopping with my SIL. We where discussing a mutaul friend of ours who discovered she was pregnant. I thought back in my dates and realized I was late. By a week or so. The day was September 10th 2005. It was 1 year exactly to the day that I had lost my mother. No way in 5 years was there a way I pregnant. It could not have been the one time in Vegas could it have been? I stopped at Walmart and picked up an equate pregnancy test. I came home quickly and ran to the bathroom. I peed on the stick and instantly the test came back. I was pregnant. I screamed and jumped up and down. I scared my poor daughter who could only imagine something was wrong. I picked up the phone and called my husband and tried to tell him our news. He was on the phone with a customer and would have to call me back. Instead I called my sil and told her. Eventually my hubby called back and he was just as thrilled as me.

My first doctors appointment was when I was 12 weeks. I was so excited to hear its heart. I still remember my first ultrasound. The tech could not tell me what I was having lol. She said I was not far enough along. I cried and cried and everyone thought something was wrong. I was a train wreck.
4 weeks later my doctor sent me in to the lab again to check the chambers and my son proudly displayed his bits for both me and my husband to see. I cried again but this time from tears of joy.
The pregnancy progressed fast and I was put on bed rest because of my high blood pressure. I lost my job and stayed at home with my wonderful daughter.

On April 21st I was scheduled to be induced due to my PIH. I woke up at 6 a.m. to get ready and called the hospital to verify my room. To my surprise all the rooms were full. I began to sob. Rog took me in and had them listen to the baby's heart and we came home. They said they would call me when a room opened up. We ran around and did a few more errands and at about 1:30 the call came. My dh and I dropped dd off at my sister in laws and raced to the hospital so I wouldn't lose my room again.They then started my ivs because I was GBS+ I won't lie the penacillon burned my veins but it was worth it to get a healthy baby. At 5 they came in and started another round of medication and then hooked up the oxytocin. I was checked and I was 3 cm and 70 effaced with baby at -1 station. They took their time and turned up my pitocin slowly. At around 10 I was 6-7 cms dialated. I asked for some iv meds. They tried to talk me into an epidural but declined as I wanted full control of my body. I will be honest with you all those meds for me only really worked with the first dose. The baby was now at 0 station. I was estatic. An hour later I was in excruciating pain. My pitocin was turned up to about 12. The contractions were killing me and Rog was suggesting I get the epi. I still refused. I just asked for a lil more meds. Finally after about 6 hrs of labor at 1:24 a.m on the 22nd. I woke up and screamed at my dh to grab someone anyone as I had to get rid of this pain. My midwife came in and checked me and hollered into the hallway its time to get this baby out. By now I am so exhausted as I have been awake for almost 20 hrs. I keep telling the midwife I cant do it. She then told me susan he is right there you gotta push. I honestly felt like kicking her in the head. Finally I realized I wanted to see my lil miracle. And I beared down. The midwife was very encouraging and surprisingly he popped out at 1:42 am in the morning and was looking around. i had only pushed 12 minutes.He wasa beautiful baby very well behaved. He had clear gray eyes and curly dark brown hair. He was 6 lbs 12 ozs and measured in at a shocking 21 inches long. He had long fingers and will probally be a sports player. When we left the hospital he was weighing 6 lbs 7 ozs.We also ended up naming him Rogelio Andrey (Awn-dree) and I call him Ro-N

So there is his story. It has been 2 years now and I honestly cannot imagine life without him. He is annoying at times but he is my son. Enjoy these pictures through these last 2 years.


Monday, April 21, 2008

Sunday the Day for Rest

Uh huh, yeah right. My sil did not show up for the match but invited is over. No thank you I will stay home in my apartment and relax. I am tired and need a break. Saturday I can hardly remember what happened. Maybe it was the pina colada or the fuzzy navel I drank. Oh well it was nice I am sure as I have nothing to complain about.

Sunday we went to another place to eat. I was going to take pictures but I forgot. You know how time flies. I laughed as we went back to entertainmart and prayed that man came again but we were not lucky. So we came home and laid down. I told big Ro I was tired and just wanted to relax. I went into the front room and played the nintendo wii with the kids. I played for 2 hours and I am sore. I was researching games and found one called wii fit. I am going to buy this. If I can have fun and work out it is worth it. So not many events but wanted to check in.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Just a quick post for updates and rants...

I really need to straighten up. We might have guests tonight for a boxing match. LOL

Update on grandpa. He is doing alright. He is steady in the hospital. They tested his heart and it was functioning 10%. So they took out his pacemaker and replaced it with a defibilator. They are hoping it gets it to function on its own at least 50%. I believe prayer works and he is fighting. He is most likely going home today but I will not believe it until I get a call from his house with his voice.

OMG what is up with crazy people. Yesterday hubby, kids and I went to dinner. It was delicious. Get this Ro-N actually let me finish a meal. I should have known something else would ruin my day. LoL. We stopped at Entertainmart to find some dvds or games and Ro-n behaved so-so. He was tired and playful so you know how it is. We walked into the crosswalk and he collapsed. He refused to get up and I coaxed him back up. He didn't cry and in fact was laughing when I put him in the carseat. I look over and an older gentlemen was hollering at me "Stop hurting that kid, your draggin him". I yelled back mind your business sir. he is my problem not yours!" Then he yelled do you want me to call the police? I was like for what disciplining my child or not hitting him or letting him block traffic?" He then started to pull around my car. Oh hell no. I blocked my license plate so he could not get the numbers. Finally Ro, seen what was going on. He got out of the car and shouted back, What is your problem man? Is he your kid? You dont know the whole story, The man kept insisting that my child was hurt. He is spoiled but fine. Big ro got frusturated and walked to the car. He told him sir mind your own business. You might get your assed kicked. He got scared and drove away...why dont people just not step in when they are needed. Yes my son was acting up but all these dramatics where not needed. Hello we are dealing with a typical 2 y/o boy.

Welll thanks for listening. I will try to take pics this weekend. Ro is working right now so I better be too. Have great holidays.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I am scared prayers please

I just got an email from my cousin that my grandpa is in the hospital. He has had trouble breathing and chest pains for the last couple of days and finally went it. The doctor says he has fluid on his lungs and that there is fluid around his heart. It is the beginning of congestive heart failure. Luckily they came early enough and are sure they can reverse and treat it but they will know tomorrow. Please pray for him he is the last of my family left and greedily I am not ready to let him go yet. Thanks ladies you are like family to me.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sorry to Be off on my own

My life is coming to a turning point. I am realizing that online life is not the most important thing anymore. My children, home and husband need me. I am tired of putting on a show and watching what I say. I am tired of ticking people off. I am tired of playing sides. I am going to be me from now on. I am trying to decide what I want in life. Do I want another child? Do I want to persue a career? Do I want to live in Colorado for the rest of my life? I have so many questions and no answers yet. I guess God only knows what I am going through and yes I may tell only negatives but it seems everyone only listens when its all flowers and candy.

My husband is doing great. I am so proud of him. He is working overtime as we speak right now. We are trying to talk things out now instead of hollering. Also I am learning that I need to show patience to recieve the respect I deserve. Yes I was upset about him forgetting and screwing me on my birthday but I guess when its the big picture it could be worse. He could be a bastard every day. I am fortunate to have him despite what I may think when angry.

My children are my life. They are beautiful in every since of the word. Roana is flourishing in school and despite what most think of her overweight body gorgeous. She has a great spirit and innocence. I am teaching her now she needs to fight back at these bully's. God made her the way she is now and noone can change it. Lil Ro is driving me nuts. He is finding every boundery and crossing it. I guess that is what almost 2 year old lil boys are good at. I am proud he has no fear and knows mommy will rescue him if he needs it. Time just flies doesnt it? I am trying to focus on these babys. One day in the future I will look back and question why I wasnt around enough so I am doing that for them

On lighter news we have a ghost! I have proof. My hubby was wondering how the dogs behave when we are gone and this is what comes up. Half way through the video you hear a door knob and if you listen closely you hear breathing and the door creak. I am not afraid, I am intrigued. Is it my mom that passed or some lost soul who decided to be a part of our family? As long as it does no harm it is welcome here. Here is the video. Listen about halfway through. You will see our dogs look up...I swear we are not home this happened in our bedroom. See if you can explain it.

Nobody's Home

So that is it for now. i will update soon. Until then I hope all is well in the world you are all living in.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Home again, home again Jiggety Jig

So we left for California on Friday March 21st. The ride was gruelsome but it was worth it to see my mother in laws face. She was so happy and I know I could live peacefully if something happened tomorrow! We spent most of our time in Reedley with the family but just relaxing is very nice too. Lil Ro was so happy to play as a big boy and he finally got his guitar. I need to replace the strings but he is jamming to it. I love my kids and my husband. Honestly pictures speak more then any words enjoy my video.