This week cannot get any worse

They say terrible things happen in threes. My grandpa James died on Saturday. My grandma Virginia had a car accident on Sunday. Then I was finally getting over it today and Bam it hit me like ton of bricks. My heart is breaking and I have no clue how I am going to recoup again. My family had called me and notified me that my Grandma Laverne passed away today. I finally called my family and got the details. She would be seventy in May. She passed away in her sleep today at home. They will not be holding a memorial service nor funeral. They will cremate her on Monday evening. This woman took care of me when I was small. She was married to my grandfather until they divorced. She was mother to my mother and had beautiful children (Debra, Shirley (Joe), John (Susan), Malcolm (Becky)& David(Wilma). She will be survived by many grand children (Susan (Rogelio), Harold (Jennifer), Rebecca(Steven), Amy, Amanda, Amber, David, Raymond, Mitchell, & Michael. She will also be missed by her great grandkids (Roana & Rogelio Andrey, Unborn AJ).

She was a kind soul who would not intentionally hurt anyone. She suffered from Schizophrenia & Brain disorders as she became elder. The last time I saw her was at my moms funeral. She will be deeply missed and I want to thank Malcolm and Beckie for taking care of her all these years. She was a strong human being and now her soul can rest peacefully. I want to blog more but I am mentally exhausted. It took my all not to go to the liquor store tonight and buy some wine coolers. I just want to make this pain end momentarily. Life is so short people. Please hold your loved ones close.

I was blaming God at first and looked at it as a curse. Now that the shock is gone I know she is better off. She has no pain, no torture and she is whole again. Watch over us my guardian angels and keep us safe from harm. Keep me in your prayers friends. Right now my world is being torn upside down.

Good News,

In spite of the negativity this evening I got very good news tonight. My Ro finished his second semester of school! I am so proud and this time is flying by. He is doing wonderfully and all the students and faculty get along with him at school. He took his 3rd final exam tonight and I just know he aced it. He is a very smart intelligent man and I am so proud he is my husband. He is everything I dreamed of and I am so glad he is mine.

The kids are doing wonderfully. They are growing like little weeds. I am a little worried as tomorrow is Roana's parent teacher conference but I know she will do well. She is very smart like her parents and beautiful. How did I luck out with such wonderful children?

I am really hoping to stay focused on the positive. I am going to try. Tomorrow will be a great day. The kids and I are going to play our hearts out.

I am giving up American Idol

I have no clue why but I cannot get into it this year. It bores me and I just do not enjoy it as much without my Ro around. I would rather sit and watch cartoons with the kids. They love watching spongebob and arthur and yes even south park.

Today was my grandfathers veiwing in Columbus. I guess according to my friends he looks great. I am proud of my husband. He sent him a beautiful message on his obituary in Spanish. He told me only me, him, grandfather and anyone with google translate can understand.

I am so blessed to have great friends. They have helped me get over a lot. They have talked me down from a cliff many times per se.

I am not in the mood to blog much today but I wanted to get some things off my chest. My life is not perfect but it is improving. Life is good.

What do I do in a single day?

Lets see. Let me start.

I wake up at 615. Get the kids dressed and out the door by 7. I drop Roana off and then come home. I clean the house check my email and start lunch by 1030. Also during that time I work out and walk for anywhere between an hour or two.

11 Ro comes home an I give him lunch. Make a few phone calls and turn on Cars.

1130 Ro leaves for work I clean the house again and start planning dinnr.

330 pick up Roana come home and help with homework.

4 start dinner kiss Ro and wash the dishes.

530 Ro goes to school I give the kids showers. We settle down for an evening and watch cartoons

830 Kids in bed and I straighten up once again. Finally at 945 I sit down and get me time.

11 Ro comes home. We go to bed and have a lot of fun.

So there in part is my day. It varies sometimes. Like a dr appointment or something of the same.

I love my life and would not trade it for the world.

I hate Mondays

Back the grind same old thing. Mondays suck eggs. Roana is back at school and Rogelio is back at school. I am exhausted.

But life is great. I lost one pound last week so I am in a great mood. I am getting sexy for my man and he is looking great. I love him with my whole heart.

I am so blessed in many areas in my life. I have cute kids, cute men and good dogs. I am happy.

RIP Grandfather James Allen Ryan

My paternal Grandfather James Allen Ryan passed away on the fourth of April. I had no clue whatsoever. He was a great man. He was not perfect as no one is but he was my grandfather. I did hold some grudges against him as I felt he favored the boys over us girls. We got worse gifts and where to thought we did not like football like the boys. I will miss those days now. My favorite memories was going over to his house for a sleepover. He would order my sister and I a donatos everything pizza and then we would sleep in the sofa sleeper watching cartoons and playing with toys in the toy closet.

I remember him being a strong man who looked at Christ for all his needs. He was well respected in our community and I had the honor of being his granddaughter.

I am severely upset with that side of the family however including my sister. No one called me to tell me he passed. I found out through facebook of all places. I was hoping we could all become a family again but I realize now I am the black sheep of the family just like my father was. I will not attend his funeral either as I will not go cry over his body. I will stay at home with his great grand kids and rejoice with them as their great grandpa is having an awesome reunion with my grandmother and father. I loved you Grandpa. I am so sorry I did not get to tell you before you left this earth. I wish we could have had more time together but I know as an angel you will stand over my family tall and strong and watch over us.

Love your family and friends amigos You never know when time will pass and you will not get to say good bye.

We survived

So like always the meteorologist blew this storm way out of proportion. However it was so fricking cold we could not go to a park or do anything outside. Come on mother nature it is April not December. We went to Chick-fil-a and played for long while and I loved eating my chicken biscuits and sipped a diet lemonade. We rented Marley & Me and came home and watched it. That movie made me cry so hard. I cannot even blame hormones on that one.

Then I decided we love pancakes. I quit buying pancake mix and learned to make them from scratch. I also bought whole wheat flour instead of white flour and OMFG they were so good. I am determined now to make even more things from scratch. It is healthier and a heck lot cheaper. Here is the recipe for them
1.5 cups whole wheat flour
1 tbs baking powder
1 tbs vanilla
1/4 cup splenda
1 whole egg 3 egg whites
1.5 cup of skim milk

Blend all ingredients. Cook on griddle preheated on medium. Yeilds about 15 pancakes.

Right now we are going to curl on the couch and play some wii. I guess my grandfather is about to pass but I will not be attending his funeral. I do not have the patience or time to deal with them right now. I pray they will survive but that is all.

So our weekend so far has been pretty tame. But we are enjoying it. Hope everyone else is having a good one too.

Hectic days and times

Lately I realize as a mom I have no me time. Lil Ro has been waking up with night terrors so even my sleeping is taken away. I am tired and ready to collapse. Today was not a good day. It was awesome cause I saw my hubby but unfortunately my grandmother was in a car accident. I am sad because she wants me there. Unfortunately with Roana in school and Lil Ro entering the terrorsome threes I cannot be there physically. I love her with all my heart and soul. If something would happen to her I would be heartbroken.

On a positive note, I won the auction for my Little mans jersey. He is going to have a cute Rockies Jersey for the game. Also I found out my son is left handed. That means the gloves we have around the house will NOT work for him. I put out a wanted on Freecycle and someone sent me a link. He will be recieving a brand new right hand thrower for his birthday.

So in short life is a little trying right now. But I am getting through it. It is supposed to be really ugly tomorrow but we will make the most of it. I still love my life and would not trade it. Even if right now I am exhausted.

Lil Ro got a haircut

I hate his long hair but we are determined to hold on to his innocence at least one more year. Mommy got bored tonight and got tired of looking at the shaggy boy so I got some scissors and chop chop chop. The baby has a trim. He looks cute again and I look forward to the day we can do a big boy cut. But until these days Mommy trims will do.

I am so shocked

I had an ob appointment yesterday to check my iud placement. When we were there she checked my ovaries and such via vaginal ultrasound. Her eyes lit up and she said do you see what I do? I cannot believe it. Wow just wow...

Here is what appeared before us:

Yep you see it. I do too. That my friends is a healthy 5 week old embryo. This is happening so much faster then I planned and it will be here around 12/1/2009. I am so excited and yet so nervous. I guess my iud fell out and I never realized it. I have not even told Ro yet. I know he will be so excited. My heart is soaring and my palms are sweaty. This sure explains my nausea lately.
I am still in shock so I took a test and this is what came up.....

Of course you remember what today is correct? Cause it is a very special day for all of us.I hope you do.....Cause I sure do.

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April Fools Day! I hope you all have a great one.