My God Time Flies

Today is my 28th birthday! I am almost to 30! I cannot believe it at all! I have 2 years to make up my mind if I want more children I refuse to give birth after 30 even a day after. We will see what happens in this year!

I am kinda down today. One having a birthday on Monday sucks royally. Everyone is cranky because they have to work! Second of all the excitement is over the weekend so your day is shot. Also saint patricks day is no fun because everyone wants to go out and drink green beer! I don't know maybe getting older without my mom is what is breaking my heart. As I lay here trying to sleep I prayed to God let me see her face one more time even in my dreams. Let me here her voice one more time even in my imagination. No matter how hard I try she is fading away to a memory. I miss her so much. I miss her advice. I miss her rants. I miss her all together. Why can God be so cruel and take away someone so young? Someone who beat cancer and a nasty marriage? What did she do that she had to become an angel so early? Growing up she called me every year at 104 am till the year she died. I was annoyed most years and as I got older I appreciated it. Now here I am 28 years later that newborn longs for her mama once again.

I feel like balling my eyes out but I know that will not help. So this year here I am. Snow is on the ground. i have to take Roana to school in the cold and dh has to work tomorrow. Why do I feel this is going to be a crappy day? I must think positive though as only negative brings negative.

Do me a favor everyone. Please please please. If your parents are still alive this year call them or go to them and embrace them. You never know if this is your last day together. May you all feel joy and happiness today on my day.