My Best friends live on my Computer

I should have known this miraculous device would determine my life. I met Big Ro on here and look where we are at in life. My mother met her husband on here and shhh can you keep a secret? My sister met her husband here too. We are just techies I guess.

I have had a down couple of days honestly. I miss my mom. I am stressing about this car accident. I have days of no pain and then I feel like screaming. Then my dh broke my heart when he denied me. Well fast forward to my wonderful online friends. I went on the website I frequent and told them my problems. They comforted me and made me feel loved. I love my computer. My best friends live in it. Thanks for the support ladies.

I got a camera

I just got a Sony dsc-t700 from Best Buy for a good price. I am getting used to it right now as we speak. It is so different from that old canon I had. Here are some sample pics. I hope you guys enjoy.








Dh and I are having a little problems but I think we both have a tendency to over react. I am learning I need to cry sometimes to let it out or I will just lose it. Sometimes I also need to just say screw the world and do my own thing. I am sure you guys understand. We are going to denver this weekend and I am so excited. We are making a video for my family in California. The kids are going to have a great time. I love being a family again and maybe we will be somewhat normal now that I have a confidante. Don't worry about me. I just tend to dwell on negative. I promise I will post positive on here too. No more negative ninnies ok? Sometimes just to send this all out in the dark void of the internet makes it less likely I will snap on my dh. Thanks for listening and I look forward to sharing more pics very soon.

Today Is A New Day

Today I am going to take time to focus on the positive. I am going to write about beauty. I have found great friends online and I want to take the time to appreciate them all.

Anelys: You are very sweet and one of my best friends. I don't know what I did right to get you into my life but I am very fortunate to have found you. Thanks for being like a sister to me when my real one turned me away.

Kelly: You are a very strong woman. You are a great mother and an inspiration to me. You think almost everything through before it happens but also are not afraid to put your foot down. You came out on vacation and did not hesistate to stay when love smacked you down. Even if you did not know what was going to happen. You inspire me so much. I would love to be half the woman you are one day.

Danielle: You are a great mami and deserve the uttermost credit. I pray one day we can meet soon.

Samy: You also inspire me. You knew things were wrong and decided to stand up for your children your strength helps show me I can pull it off too.

Nicole: You are awesome woman. You make me cheer for you when good things happen and cry when bad things too. You are a great mom and I know your daughter will thank you one day.

Jennifer: You help make it easier to face the day without my dh. You show me that love is all you need and distance is nothing when you are truly in love. You are a true inspiration.

Erica: You have gone through alot of trials with your df. But I am so glad to have met you. You are strong and beautiful. You make me smile and I am glad I can call you friend.

Meghan: You are so sweet and make me laugh. I know I can relate to you in all aspects. I know you are a great mom and wife and I inspire to be like you too.

Heather: Girl you have travelled the world. You have moved from place to place to see Ze succeed. You are an amazing woman. You have two beautiful children and you handle it like nothing for the most part. You have the patience of a saint.

Carrie: I know you dont blog but I know you read mine. You sweetie are my best friend. You helped let me know I am strong and dont need to put up with their bull crap. You inspire me to be a stronger woman and let me know I matter no matter what they may say. I pray we stay friends forever.

My other bbc friends: you listen to me laugh and cry. You make me smile and take my side. Seriously ladies you really rock. You make my day and help complete me.

I am sorry for the cheesy letter ladies but today I had to sit down and let it all out. You need to show people you appreciate them or how will they know it. God bless everyone and have a great day.

Please help Missing Person

A friend of mine on a board I frequent has a missing brother.
He appears to be depressed and has every lead so far is dead ins.
If you have any info please contact your local police station or this police station 847-599-7000


Here is the info Missing since Jan 7th from the Gurnee, Illinois area
Jeffrey Steven Standeven (goes by Jeff)
6'3 about 200 lbs
hazel eyes, brown hair
wears glasses
may still have a full beard, has psoriasis and it's usually fairly visible on his hands and face
driving: 1997 White Ford Crown Victoria, license 6399546
Here is a pic:



This is the number of their local police station if you have any information Gurnee is 847-599-7000

He was found near texas...waiting for friends update

Sorry I have been a gloomy Gus lately

I have decided from this point on I will focus on the positive. I asked him what he asked about the ex. He told me he didn't ask his friend offered the information. He said she lost a lot of weight and has 5 kids and is doing drugs. I guess he didn't know Ro wanted to marry her and she declined! Opps now I feel bad for pooring ice water on Rogelio. LoL His friend also told Rogelio he chose the right woman for him. I cannot believe it. He said I am very family oriented, adore him and gave it all up. Plus his family for the most part loves me. I guess we all get a little insecure when it comes to exes. I did not look up my ex. I knew that would only cause problems. I just need to be more secure in our relationship. You guys are right he has never cheated, he adores me and we have a beautiful family. He is not going anywhere unless it is mutual.

Today we were supposed to go to pueblo but when I woke up in the morning about 4 inches of snow covered the ground. I do not think so. It is not worth it. I emailed the lady I was supposed to pick up some things from freecycle from and she emailed me back. She told me she did not care that the snow was bad that she was going to donate the stuff today if I did not pick it up. I am not going to risk our lives for free stuff. Sorry. Grr sometimes they can be pains.

We took the dog and kids out to play in the snow. It took me 20 minutes to dress lil ro. He had a blast and did not mind all the clothes. I made tortas for lunch. All in all it was a easy day but very very nice. Big Ro and I talked alot today. He told me he adores me and wants to be with me for the rest of our lives. We are planning a vacation in March. Where I am not exactly sure. We are thinking Ohio to look for a place to live in the next year or California to visit his mom. Ideally I would love to go to tennessee. I want to visit my mother's gravesite. I miss her alot lately. I miss her smile and her warm eyes. I miss the smell of her smokeladen clothing and her scratchy voice. I swear when things get rough I can feel her around me. Wow...growing up I didn't think I did not need her and now that I am grown up I can not live without her. She is my inspiration and I strive to be like her. One day ladies I will tell you all everything that has ever happened.

Right now all I can say is take it day by day. Never doubt your love and try to keep your chin high. I love you all thanks for listening. Enjoy the pics of the kids today

Can't we Just Be family?

Well today was a very long day. I actually went off on big Ro. I told him in no such terms I am tired of it all. Sometimes I need a break too. To my surprise he took Ro-n in another room and Roana to hers and I had a whole 15 minutes to myself. I spent it online of course but it was worth it.

The Big Ro got a call from our BFF she had to go to a car dealership and needed a translator. I had him drop the kids and I at the mall so they could play happily. It was there I realized alot of things. I forgot my camera for one so no cute pictures of the kiddos playing on the big foam cars. Then I looked around as Ro-N screamed and played happily. My husband was not at my side. I was lonely. All the other mommies had their men to pick up the babies and I was by myself. I do not want to be a single mom. I did not sign up for that.

I do not want to be neglected I guess. But I am learning my hubby was raised to be at a friends beckoning. It gets lonely being me sometimes. I guess that is why I cling so tightly to my invisible friends. I am so excited ladies. A friend of mine from Lil Ro's birthboard may be moving close to me in a few months. I will finally have someone who I can relate too. I can finally have a friend with kids close to age with mine. I will finally be accepted and have another confidante.

Grr I need to vent again...So sorry. My husband lately has been talking to an old friend online. Well they switched numbers and they were talking tonight. Rogelio asked about his ex girlfriend. The one he lied to me about never having. You see when we first met he said he was not involved with anyone. Then after I moved in on his birthday this woman called him. I talked to our room mates and they showed me letters from her and everything. I was hurt. Honestly I never got over it. I married him but now that he is inquiring about her it pisses me off! Respect me....grrr I know its history but dont inquire I am sooooo tempted to find my ex and find out how he is...just to give him a taste of his own medicine. I am so mad!

Oh well, life is short. I just gotta live it to the most. My life is not that bad...just sometimes a little lonely. Thanks for caring and god bless. I will try to update daily.

Last Night Was Awesome

No not the way you ladies are thinking. Naughty, Naughty. Big Ro and I sat done and talked. I told him a little about my fears of him cheating. He looked at me like I was insane and told me he is just friends with a lot of people and will not change for anyone. He also told me he loves his gordita and will love me for as long as I allow. We talked about the drama that was going on in my family. We decided for now I am going to let it go. I am not saying I am talking to them again but also I refuse to feed the negativity. I know I have Ro and his family and my online family too. With everyone I have as a support system I am very strong now.

Roana is making me so proud lately. This morning she woke up and told me her tummy ached. I gave her two options stay home and go to the store with me Or go to school and try to survive. She looked at me with the strongest smile and said I think Ill go to school mommy. She also told me she loves school and wants to be a nurse. I asked her why not a Doctor? She responded "because mommy the dr needs a nurse to help him or the dr cannot fix the person!" It kinda makes sense but she is turning into a sweetie. Well when she is not wrestling with her bubba Lil Ro.

Lil Ro, I cannot tell you guys how much he has grown. He now weighs 21 lbs and is 33 inches long. He is my soldier. He is goofy though and has me pulling my hair out at times. He has learned to climb on the table and also how to draw a bath. Very scary but he is so much different then his sister. He now says Kaka (I know not nice), Hi Dada, peas (please), thank you, and a few other words. Honestly he is keeping me on my toes lately. LoL.

Rex my puppy is amazing. He is now trained to walk without a leash. He also is very independent. On Sunday we went out for a walk at a park. We forgot there was a creek he could jump into. We took off the leash to go after a ball and the next thing I saw was him sprinting off. I didn't think anything of it until dh shook his head. I ran over with LiL Ro in my arms and looked down. My puppy had jumped off a 20 ft ledge into the creek. I am so thankful he is ok and we got him out. I have learned now I need to control him.

Me, well I am just chilling. I am trying to take each day by day. I am no longer dwelling on hate and just striving to see my family succeed. Not everyone can be blessed as I am. Ro & I are going to have some down time again tonight so we will probably watch ghosthunters and a couple of movies. I am making spaghetti & meatballs, salad with olive oil vinagerette & whole wheat french bread. Then who knows what happens later. You can use your imaginations we are all grown ups.

So my good friends. If I don't post again tonight. Thank you for supporting and loving me. I know God has blessed me with each and every one of you. May we all have the strength to ignore those who only want to put us down. I know I am now learning that lesson too well. Much love and Peace to all.

Hope You Enjoy these Pictures

My Minnie


My Eeyore


My 3 Ro's


The View From My Apartment


I Love This Picture


My Lil Ro


My Princesa