Saturday, January 5, 2008

Can't we Just Be family?

Well today was a very long day. I actually went off on big Ro. I told him in no such terms I am tired of it all. Sometimes I need a break too. To my surprise he took Ro-n in another room and Roana to hers and I had a whole 15 minutes to myself. I spent it online of course but it was worth it.

The Big Ro got a call from our BFF she had to go to a car dealership and needed a translator. I had him drop the kids and I at the mall so they could play happily. It was there I realized alot of things. I forgot my camera for one so no cute pictures of the kiddos playing on the big foam cars. Then I looked around as Ro-N screamed and played happily. My husband was not at my side. I was lonely. All the other mommies had their men to pick up the babies and I was by myself. I do not want to be a single mom. I did not sign up for that.

I do not want to be neglected I guess. But I am learning my hubby was raised to be at a friends beckoning. It gets lonely being me sometimes. I guess that is why I cling so tightly to my invisible friends. I am so excited ladies. A friend of mine from Lil Ro's birthboard may be moving close to me in a few months. I will finally have someone who I can relate too. I can finally have a friend with kids close to age with mine. I will finally be accepted and have another confidante.

Grr I need to vent again...So sorry. My husband lately has been talking to an old friend online. Well they switched numbers and they were talking tonight. Rogelio asked about his ex girlfriend. The one he lied to me about never having. You see when we first met he said he was not involved with anyone. Then after I moved in on his birthday this woman called him. I talked to our room mates and they showed me letters from her and everything. I was hurt. Honestly I never got over it. I married him but now that he is inquiring about her it pisses me off! Respect me....grrr I know its history but dont inquire I am sooooo tempted to find my ex and find out how he is...just to give him a taste of his own medicine. I am so mad!

Oh well, life is short. I just gotta live it to the most. My life is not that bad...just sometimes a little lonely. Thanks for caring and god bless. I will try to update daily.

3 Comments / Comentarios:

Jennifer said...

I wish I was closer so that we could hang out. I know what you mean when you just need a break. I also know how hard it is to have a husband and still feel like a single mom. BTDT, and am doing it again right now, so I am right there with you. If you ever want to or need to vent, I am always here for you - even though I am not on the boards that much. You can get my email off my profile if you ever need it.

And I love all the pics of your kids. They are such beautiful kids. Both of them.

Oh yeah, and I have been reading your other blog posts as well. I am sorry that your family just doesn't get it. I know how hard it is when your own flesh and blood act ignorant like that. Thats why I always say that your real family is who you choose, not who is related to you by blood. Those are just relatives that you ahve to aguantar de ves en cuando, LOL. ((((((((((HUG))))))))))
~Jennifer

Adrians Mama said...

Susan-i know its frustrating he is inquiring about an ex-girlfriend but he is wmarried to you and with you and from the way you talk i can tell he genuinely loves you. Sometimes we all just wonder about the past...I am sure I am not saying this right but I mean well! I am here for you anytime you need to talk you have my email!! I am also glad one of the ladies on Ro-N's BB is moving close to you!!

Mom to 3 Little Flowers said...

Oh hun (((((HUGS)))))... I know what you mean with feeling single sometimes... It was really hard for me when I was preggo with Mimi and I was traveling back and forth so DH was not always were I was. I also went in 2005 to Jersey with Gaby for a month, and GOD! it was really difficult without him!!