Saturday, January 19, 2008

Time to Move On

So I am coming to peace with a few things right now and I am going to only look forward. 2008 is supposed to be the year of new starts for me. Here is my thing. Yesterday Rogelio and I had a long talk. We both long for bigger and better things. I really really want to become a social worker but here in the Springs there is not much to be done and I am stuck in a rut. My hubby wants to become an engineer and a guy at his work has taken him under his wing. So I think it is coming down to what it has been coming down to for the last 9 years. We are seriously thinking of leaving Colorado. I long for sandy beaches and for fresh fruit year round. I long for the mountains and a yard for my children to play in. I long for family who stands by me thick and thin. I long for my home, my place I can finally become all I can be. Yea I know it sounds dumb. I am going to be 28 and I am thinking of just leaving all this behind. But with most of the stuff we are going through really there is not much to leave behind. I long to go to California. I long to be with my in laws. I long for undeniable support...maybe then I wouldnt hold onto a dream of perfection in this world.

My children are making me so proud. Roana is trying her best to tolerate her brother but honestly at 2 he is a royal terror. We went to a segunda and I scored her & him some very nice clothing. I also picked up my son a barbie guitar but he loves it. I then went to kmart and scored BIG. I got 7 plug ins, 1 hairbrush set and a flat iron for the whopping amount of 6.45! I love bargain hunting and I love the fact my dd helps find bargains with me. LoL

She is doing so good in school. I told her today baby you are smart dont listen to idiots. Yes people in the past have put her down because she has been silent but this year she blossomed from a bud to a beautiful flower. She makes me so proud and I have to remind myself that I need to tell her.

Rogelito is growing so fast. I am a terrible mommy with him. He still had bottles. But tonight I said enough is enough. I bought 6 sippys and dh and I agree that he can have 1 at night till 2. He did really good. He cracks me up. He says "Tanks." and he is a big boy that doesnt want to be carried around. Today he even picked out his own outfit. Where did my precious baby go? Why do they have to grow so fast?

That leads me to baby fever. I think I want another baby. I am terrified about it but I think one more baby would be it. I envision myself with a child end of this year or next depending what happens with this move. I am ready to complete my family and that unborn child holds my heart strings. Sounds crazy I know but I know up above that baby child is waiting to be sent and says God she will be my mom. She is not perfect but you know she is mine. I will have to seriously talk to Ro cause as I have said before my iud would be an issue for now. (But I have a friend who got pregnant on one) LoL

Well that is what is going on with me right now. My hopes and dreams. I hope you all enjoy. Ro and I are good thanks for looking. Good night and God Bless!

5 Comments / Comentarios:

Anonymous said...

I am glad you 2 talked about things. I wish you would move back here to Ohio but as long as you are happy thats all that matters. I will call you when I feel a little better I was just checking my emails and things before bed. Take care
Carrie

Jennifer said...

I know what you mean about being ready to leave it all behind. I think if you feel that way, then it is time to go.

You know where your "home" is. Where you feel you need to be, and if it is time to go "home" then you wont be happy until you are there. I am glad that you all talked about everything, and I will be praying for you all that everything falls into place so that you both can get what you need and what you want!

Erica said...

awww ihope you get your baby and that your move goes good!!

Momto3LittleFlowers said...

I will keep your moving, baby fever, and career aspirations in my prayers!!
I knwo you guys will be able to make the right decisions!!!

Samy said...

Yeap i'm the same way i want to leave everything behind and start new for this year. Its good to be able to express yourself like that.