Have I changed?

I am finally feeling good about myself! I now can see some difference in my face! What do you guys think? Compare the two pictures! Leave your comments. LoL

Is there a difference or am I dreaming?

January 6 2009






Feb 28, 2009

We are living in scary times

I am terrified. I was watching the news and I saw some scary things. I was apalled. My best friends sisters resturaunt was robbed on Tuesday. All they took was 100 dollars. Imagine someone could have been killed over a lowsy couple of dollars. From police reports they say the men were armed and dangerous. I fear for my friends. They really need to get an alarm system. I hope they do it sooner then later.

Then dont get me started on child predators. They are all over the place. Police were warning people on the news about that crap today. What happened to the time of innocence? I remember growing up playing outside until dark. Times have really changed and I am sad for my kids.

I will hug them and kiss them and let them know all is ok. I pray things get better before they get worse. Until then protect the ones you love and hold them close.

Just thinking aloud out here for a bit

My grandma is doing well right now. I called and they told me she is in a rehab home and should be home sometime in the next two weeks. Her life will forever be changed but she will be here on this earth.

I am doing ok. I am struggling feeling like a single mom with benefits of a husband for a couple of hours a day. But I am ok and we are two months in this now. We are going to succeed as long as we stick together.

This diet thing is wonderful. We are becoming more bonded and I am becoming more responsible. I have to step up. I have to be the one who cooks and cleans and makes sure there is food in the fridge but I feel so much more responsible and in charge. I think Ro likes it that way too.

I am slacking on my posts and I feel bad but I feel kind of repetitive lately. I hope all is well with everyone else. Tomorrow is Friday and we will have some us time.

I am exhausted

I do not know why but I am so tired. I am happy to report that lil Ro's rash has cleared and there is no fever so we did not have to go to the doctor. He is so cute. He tells me things now. It amazes me how much more advanced he is in some things at this age then his sister was. His favorite thing to do is rip his diaper off and run in the bathroom. He then proceeds to call me and say "Sissy, shower please." Also he is now saying "Thank you" and spongebob. He also requests and tells me what he needs. He is so smart. I love him and even if he is a pain sometimes he is the light of my life.

Roana is excelling in school. She went to school and showed me her artwork. She is so proud of herself. She is getting all A's & B's in school. She amazes me more then ever.

I have been thinking. In May Ro and I will have been married for ten years. Ro's best friend from high school is renewing his vows with his wife. It makes me want to relive those days. I want to wear the long flowing white dress and I want our family to witness our commitment. I would love to get married in his sister's backyard or even his towns catholic church. I want him to propose to me on one knee. I guess I am starting to long for a regular wedding instead of the quick elopement we preformed. I think we have enough time to know we will be together forever and I want my kids to see we are fully commited to each other. I will be patient though and may get my wish not 2010 but 2011 after he completes school. I love him with my whole heart and want my kids to know mom and dad are in it for the long run.

I am going to stop for tonight I am kind of wiped out. The whole house is silent and I know there will be a key in the door in any moment. And I cannot wait. I love my husband with my whole heart. The best part of my whole day happens here in a few moments.

21 days to a new life

We are doing this program called body for life and for the last two days we have eaten meals in the home that have been planned. We are using minimum fats and limiting portions. I really enjoy cooking the food. Here is our menu for the week starting with yesterday. I will post dinner only meals.

Monday Zesty Italian chicken with pasta sauce over fetticini & spinach
Tues: Beef Stir fry (low fat beef, napa cabbage, carrots, celery, green onion & soy sauce tossed with whole wheat spaghetti)
Weds: Turkey Meatloaf, lowfat mashed potatos and steamed green beans
Thursday: Turkey Meatballs & Spaghetti
Friday: Marinated flank steak with wild rice & green beans
Saturday: Chicken soup
Sunday: Free day (may swap with saturday)

I am very surprised. The kids and hubby love it. I am also a happier and feel more energy. I love this. Our family is getting on the right track and I know it will be great. I love taking care of my family and so far so good.

Our Starting weights:
Big Ro: 220
Me: 228
Roana:148

I am not including Ro-n cause he does not need to lose weight but I still want him to learn healthy eating. I know with all our help we will be happier and healthier.

The week-end is over

I love my weekends and starting this coming weekend we will be more diligent about eating healthy. Ro is back at work and school. I am so proud of him. He ended up with a 97.5% in math and a 103% in career prep. He is starting blue-print reading classes today. I think he will enjoy this class a lot. I am so proud of him. He even went to the gym today. He is my role model and I want to be just like him when I grow up.

Little Ro is scaring me a lot right now. He had a fever and I checked his torso. There is a raised blotchy rash. I think it is from excema but it could be anything. I have given him benadryl and it helped him a lot. He is doing wonderfully in his big boy bed. He sleeps until 330 in there and then joins us in our bed. He is growing up so fast.

Roana is well already getting her preteen attitude. It seems like she is getting more mouthy every day. She hates me sometimes I swear. I really need to talk to her about the girl changes and the birds and the bees but I cannot help but question if this is the right time. I do not want to be the mom who waits last minute but that also means my baby is turning into a young lady.

Life is calm here in our little family. I think these vitamin supplements are really helping. I feel so much more mellow and more relaxed. I know my kids are kids and I need to be patient. Even Ro sees a difference. He loves the new me.

Summing the weekend up in one post.

I am so tired its not even funny. On monday Ro and I are officially starting the Body for Life diet again. We want to become a healthier family and teach our kids that eating healthy is ok and can be normal. I do not want my children to suffer but that is another post for another day.

Friday we were supposed to have a friend over and but he was a no show. We sat around the house and played for a couple of hours. It is ok sometimes the best days are the days where you do nothing.

On Saturday we noticed a strange buzzing from the television and we decided to do an exchange one more time. Imagine my surprise when they traded it for a brand new television for the price of the refurbished one. I love this one for real and I am not returning it at all. We had our favorite chinese resturaunt and that probably explains my half pound loss instead of heavy weight.

Sunday we went to the park. It was lovely.We had a good weekend. I am tired hope everyone had a great weekend too.

It is getting so much easier

I am working on making myself a better and stronger person. I want to become a better wife and mother. I know I am not perfect and will not pretend to be. I have issues with anxiety and sometimes I get depressed. After doing some research and great feedback I have decided to try a natural solution. I have only tried this for 3 days so far but I feel a great deal better. I am taking a combination of St. Johns Wart, Fish Oil and B-12. I feel so much more relaxed and tons happier. I think it is helping.

On the diet front let me say its getting easier to make healthier decisions. Example I am eating breakfast now. Whether it be a bowl of cereal or a yogurt with fruit. I am eating breakfast. Then for lunch my obsession is Spinach with 1/4 cup sunflower seeds raisins & 2 tbs of lowfat ranch dressing. I sometimes eat a peice of bread too. For dinner I usually just eat what the family eats, just smaller servings. No matter if I lose weight or now I am becoming more healthy.

When I am healthier my whole family is healthier. I want to be around for a long time and by God. I will be if I continue this path. I just need to keep moving on.

My son's room is almost done!

Today I went to the dollar tree with my dear son. I am obsessed with that place. We needed shampoo and body wash and a few other lovely items. When I was there I wandered into the home decorating aisle. I am determined to find stars and planets for his room and I stumble across these circle decals and I think what the heck they look like planets kinda and if they dont work out they are only 2 dollars for 2 sets. I look across the aisle and staring at me are these lovely touch lights. I was very excited and came running home. When I got here I turned on spongebob and headed into his little room. I started throwing my planets on the wall and brainstormed. I had a round ring that would work as a rotation so I put a bright yellow sticker in the middle and positioned 9 circles around it and the rotation area. I put the two stars around it and the bed will go beneath the galaxy and between the two touch lights. I just need some fabric to cover the shelves surrounding the room and we will be set to go! I would love some glow in the dark stars and some planets for the ceiling but slowly but surely I guess.

It was a lovely day. Big Ro had his first final tonight. I am so nervous for him I checked his grades online of course with his permission. He is recieving a 97% in math and a 103% in his career building class. I am so excited and proud of him. I cannot wait until this weekend. On Saturday we are going to Falcon to pick up lil Ros toddler bed and then on Friday we are having a friend over to hang with us. It should be a wonderful weekend. I will post again here really soon.

Leave the Good Shows Alone

A friend of mine pointed out this article and I am furious. It appears that they are going to have Dora Grow up and get a makeover. She will be tween dora whose adventures are in the city shopping and playing magical guitars. What is going to happen to beloved boots? Was he a figment of her imagination? Also beloved backpack is he going to be bolsa (purse in spanish). Disgusting if you ask me. I love that dora could be like any little girl. She is sweet and almost tomboyish. This is disgusting and I hope it does not work. I hope heads roll. Leave our beloved innocent Dora alone and find some other toy or character to mess up like wow wow wubbzy. I could live without him...yea I could.

Well it was an interesting day

Big Ro was sick today and we had to exchange our tv cause it was making noise. I am very discouraged right now because I did not lose any weight last week. I know I slipped off the bandwagon more then a couple of times last week. Oh well.

On the plus side I am in love with a burrito. It is called the B-52 bomber from Drifters. It has egg, sausage, bacon, cheese and salsa. Delicious and filling. I miss in and out. Please come back. Today was uneventful but enjoyable. I just love hanging with my familia.

Celebrating Valentine's Day Kid Style

Today was Sunday but our kids really needed a break so we woke up early. After making Big Ro a breakfast for a king we got out to our little yellow car and headed to Yucky I mean Chuck-E-Cheese. I had several coupons and debating on how to use them. I found one that was $18.99 for a pizza 4 sodas and 40 tokens. Then I had a free 2o tokens. I found one more coupon for 100 tokens for $15.00. We ended up spending $35.00 for 160 tokens and food not too bad for 3 hours of time. Little Ro cracked me up as he learned the system to playing free basketball. I turned around and he was staning on the inside of the basketball game shooting the free baskets. What a crazy child. After Chuck-E Ro and I were chatting. He told me he really wanted something and was scared to bring it up. I kind of had an idea of what it was and he confirmed my suspicions. He wanted a 42" lcd television. I went to the store and looked at it. It was only 599 and has 1080p so he did get a good deal and honestly I love watching tv now.

We are making a room for our son finally. We had a small room we made storage before he was born. I cleaned it out and am in the process of redecorating it. I found a space theme bedding at K-Mart for 8 and I found a toddler bed on craigslist for 15. My baby is going to have his own room here very soon.

This was a good weekend. Ro is supposed to work but he is a little under the weather. I know he has sick time so at least if needed he will be fine. Hopefully this time next week we will have pics of his room ready.

A Very Happy Valentines

We are thinking positive now. Positive energy brings positive things, I am a strong believer in that philosophy.

We were going to just stay home for Valentines but after a long discussion we decided a cheaper alternative would be going out for lunch and dinner. I got the kids dressed warmly as when we woke up there was fog and snow. It was beautiful. Many people would have let this weather ruin their Valentine's day but not us. The snow hugged the branches of the trees and it looked like our world was crystalized. I fell in love with the day.

We headed out to our favorite resturaunt for lunch. A huge Asian buffet called Empire. I gorged myself with Korean Chicken, wontons, hot and sour soup and my passion Sushi. I was very happy that Lil Ro let us eat in peace for the most part. It was delicious and I was very full.

From there we drove around a little bit. Honestly we just chit chatted about our daily lives. It is amazing how much we learn. We came home around 1 and decided since the sun had come out and warmed our home to take the kids and dogs to the park.

We got to the park around 1:15 the kids played on the playground equipment and the dogs played fetch with Rogelio. I did snap some pictures but have not uploaded them yet. I looked at my husband and kids and realized this is truly what this day is about. Unconditional love and happiness. My big Ro looked very tired so we wrapped up our adventure at 225.

We came home and we all laid down. We took naps and woke up at 5. It felt good to do things unplanned. I talked to my grandfather today and he told me my grandmother is still in ICU but she is fiesty now. So they most likely will move her into another room on Monday. I cannot wait to call her and hear her voice. He told Big Ro he is proud of all we do and that he knows we are going through this with him.

For dinner we drove to Sonic. We love their dollar value meal and I love their Diet Cherry Limeade. They messed up our order a little bit but I walked up to thier door smiled and told them nicely the problem. They fixed the mistake and then tried to give me more. I thanked them and explained we did not need the extra and to pass it on to someone else.

Ro surprised me too. He went to the store and bought me this nice fitted case for my laptop. It is gorgeous. The colors are lilac and grey and fit my personality perfectly. I also surprised him too. I got him a xbox live subsciption and Fable II. It was a very low key Valentine's day but it was one of the best. I love my husband. This is our Tenth Valentines together and I look forward to a lifetime more of them. Thank you Ro I love you.

My husband is awesome and update on grandma

Let me start off saying My grandmas surgery was a success. She is in ICU currently and will be hospitalized for at least a week. Thank God. She is safe. I will continue to pray for her. I will be heartbroken if anything happens to her.

Ro and I were discussing Valentines day. He asked me what I wanted. I looked at him and for the first time in a long time I could tell him "Nothing. I have the world". What we want to do is go to the store buy a couple of steaks and enjoy dinner here in our little casa. That would be idea for me. Steak, pasta salad, potatos, seafood and then some chocolate covered strawberries. Then on Sunday I want to treat the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese. I guess we will see. I may get a little nightie to wear for him too but that is TMI. LoL

I am very worried for my sister. She is going threw some rough times. She even mentioned suicide as an option. I pray God blesses her and that she realizes there are more avenues to persue. I may not talk to her often but she should know that its not worth it. If she is unhappy she needs to find a her happiness as I have. So that was my day. I cleaned the apartment again and the kids kind of messed it up but I wont bitch about it. It could be worse so much worse.

My Grandmother

She is like my mother and I have noone other then my in laws and grandfather who I can rely on like her. She loves me unconditionally like a mother should and now I feel helpless. She was admitted into the hospital. She had shortness of breath and lots of pain. Tomorrow they are giving her a triple bypass and replacing a leaky valve. She has already survived breast cancer and I do not want to lose her to heart problems. I pray the doctors are guided by gods hand and that they will do the right thing. I worry but I know she will be safe. At least I hope.

Growing up in Diverse times

When I was a child only one language was spoken to my knowlege. I lived on a street that was somewhat diverse for our nation. But I was so ignorant. I did not know there was any other race except caucasian and african american. I am so glad times are slowly changing. As I sit here on the couch with my kids this evening have a diverse interest in other languages. On Nick for example there are many shows that showcase spanish. I love Dora and Diego. Now there is also a show called ni hao kai lan. I love the little girl who speaks Mandarin. It is beautiful to hear my children speak this language. I never dreamed we would be this diverse,

Also grocery shopping. There was really Kroger and Big Bear. Now I go to stores most people would not know what hit them. I love the Latin Market and almost fainted when I found an Oriental Market with very fresh fish. I love all kinds of food. I even miss Indian food.

Thank you Ro for showing me the American way is not the only way. We are teaching our Children that it is ok to be different. I would not change anything our family is for the world.

What we did on his birthday

I got up and got sexified. LoL Get your mind out of the gutter. I got up and got dressed in my sexiest warm dress and put on some nice black heels. Daddy loved it so much that came from behind and kissed me. I love days like this. We went down to the car and headed off to where ever he wanted to eat. We went to our favorite chinese buffett to chow down and be happy. I love sushi. It is not funny how much I can eat while there. I did take it easy and use a small plate for it. Then I ate mushrooms and some melt in my mouth teriyaki beef. I loved it very much and seeing my adoring husband was worth it.

Afterwards we started driving home. Daddy decided to make a quick stop. He wanted to join the gym. Who am I to say no way? We stopped and I played on the blackberry. He came out pumped and ready to go. The car would not start the cold had drained the battery in a matter of minutes. We were stuck but did not argue. We both bit our tongues and racked our brains. I then had him run in the gym and in a matter of minutes we were on our way again.

I then stopped at the second hand store. I found roana a great jacket and found Big Ro a bunch of work out clothes. It was wonderful. We came home and big Ro serenaded me on his ukulele. Then I wanted to get him a cake. I went to the car and the scariest thing in my life happened. Lil Ro jumped into my arms and as he did the dog jerked my arm and knocked him down into the rock below. I heard a thunk and I dropped the leash. On my babys face was a look I never wanted to see. His mouth was wide open and and he was screaming with no sound coming out. I scooped him in my arms praying no brains were hanging out. I opened the door and checked his head. There is about a quarter of an inch sized gash and lots of blood but not too deep. I put pressure on it and said a prayer. Called the nurse and got him cleared. I felt terrible. Again no fighting just apologizing. We came home and we were very happy. We had a great day and I hope every holiday is this wonderful from this point on.

Happy Birthday Baby my true love my life

33 years ago your mother did a beautiful thing. She gave birth to a gorgeous child who turned out to be an even better man. She gave birth to a man who is a wonderful husband and father and I will never be able to repay her for blessing me as much as she has. You are wonderful hon and I am so glad we have many years to continue growing old together. Every day we have together you never cease to amaze me. I am so glad you were born and so glad you are my husband.

Today you joined the gym. You are already very good looking and I am proud you are trying to be healthier so we can only grow old. I look forward to grandchildren and retirement and all these golden years ahead of us. I am sorry I am not perfect hon but today I want you to know I would give up anything for you. I love you darling. I pray today was your perfect birthday.

My last night with

A 32 year old man. Tomorrow I will wake up and he will be 33. You know what I love him more each year with his face only growing more handsome. I would not trade him for anyone or anytime.

We went to the guitar store today and we picked him up a ukulele. It is beautiful. He has been practicing it all day long. The sound is ringing through my ears but honestly it does not bother me at all. My baby has talent he is great at anything and everything he does. We also had chick-fil-a today for breakfast. The kids love it there.

My life is getting better. I have a wonderful husband, cute kids and a reason of being. What else could a girl ask for. When Ro gets better I will post video of him on it.

It takes a village

Not only to raise a child but to raise a stronger wife and woman. I was very bummed about what went down at a certain board but I have to give them props. They actually helped calm me down and think. I thought about a lot of things. I sat with Big Ro and worked out a few issues I have had. I actually feel like a more intact person now. I told him to enjoy his life but remember he is married. He told me he likes a little control. Makes him appreciate me more. Noone but us can truly understand our relationship and appreciate it. Thank you for helping me realize that. We are happy and that is all that matters.

I am sick still. Of course what is new? I am hoping I feel better by sunday. I went to petsmart today. We got a new betta. He ooopsss I mean she is beautiful. LOL. What happened is I was looking at the females but they are so ugly! I grabbed a gorgeous red, purple & pink one. He is affectionitely named Angel. LoL Hope it does not give him any issues. LoL

Tomorrow is errand day. I am going to attempt it. Have a great weekend all.

I am trying to be strong

It is Thursday, I am exhausted. I am sick as a dog and Burbujas passed on tonight. I am going to give in and buy a betta tomorrow. I can make one of those live forever. Rio has been alive for 3 years now.

I am very discouraged right now. A group I frequent is saying I am insane. I know its not the internet but I have been nothing but loving and accepting to these people. I truly thought I was one of them. I think I am going to lurk again for a long while. I will rely on the people I truly know to vent.

On a positive note I just want to thank them. Due to some bashing I have realized a few things. I actually sat with my husband and told him I trusted him. I encouraged him to go out with coworkers. I told him I completely understand and do not want to hold him back. He is going to do lunch with a couple of them and honestly I do not want details. I need no details. I trust him.

So here I am sick and tired and a little down in the dumps. I feel like I have lost a best friend. Maybe in a couple of weeks I will try again.....or then again maybe not.

Thank God it Is Weds

One more day. I can handle one more day of this. Soon it will be the weekend and it will be Big Ro's big 33. I cannot believe we are celebrating his tenth birthday together. We have had long trying years but we always work through it. What amazes me even more is that over these past ten years we have grown even closer. We are closer to ending each others sentences and feeling the other's feeling we are soul mates. We are not perfect. We have our tiffs but we are a loving couple who cares for each other genuinely.

I am not sure if I mentioned. On Super Bowl Sunday we lost Dash. Somehow his bubbler got unplugged and he passed on quickly. I did not mourn this little guy as much as well he was just a feeder fish. I went monday to petsmart and got a cute little fantail named Burbujas or Bubbles in english. Lets hope this guy makes it.

I am starting to feel a little cold coming on. My nose is stuffy and I have a tad fever. I hope I feel better tomorrow or Friday latest. I want to spoil my hubby rotten. I am looking for a ukelele for him. Let's see what happens. It is really up to what my baby wants. It is his day.

I am very happy right now in my life. I know I am not the perfect mother or wife. I am striving to become better. Some people will always have a hard time but I am striving to become better. I did take some pics today of our minadventure but right now I am not feeling good at all. I will try to post more tomorrow.

The Luckiest Woman in the World

I have two beautiful children to say the least. I have a roof over my head and a vehicle to transport me. But what could put this all over the top? My wonderful husband. I have been requesting a laptop so I can be in the same room as the kids when I am online. He was very supportive and even helped me browse around. I was very determined to get a pink one. However yesterday I was in Wallyworld and went to look at the computers and waste a bit more time. I saw a cute laptop. It was also an amazing price. My hubby then came home for lunch and I mentioned it. He went back to work and when he came home and he had it in his hands. Right now I am using my laptop. He told me the sweetest thing. He said "I have to keep my wife happy."
I am calling it my valentines day birthday gift in one. I am blessed.

These Anons Crack me Up Seriously (apologize for vulgar language ahead of time)

At one point of my life I would have been bawling like a baby but today I cannot help but laugh at your stupidity. You have no clue who I really am. We may have known each other in the past but obviously you do not know who I am now. Laughing my ass off. My husband is not going to trade me in for a 1982 Pinto...a crappy car at that. I am a classic. Who wants to get rid of a fine tuned machine? Idiot. You are miserable and I will not let you get me down. Further more, if we want more children they will be taken care of. No offense....we will not have medicaid for it. Nothing wrong with those that do. We will have work provided insurance. Get your damn facts straight. You heathens go back to you scum hole called home and grow some balls leave a name or dont leave a comment at all. Barb I know this was not you. Do not worry, as I told you past is past and I want to move on. Just this scuzz balls need to grow up and act their age not iq.

We have been very blessed this weekend. Rogelio came home and handed me an envelope. On the inside was an indisclosed amount of cash. He had won his works Super Bowl pool for the first quarter. Hooray! Then when I called Verizon they told me they are sending me a check back for my deposit on my cell phone. I think this abundance check thing works. You all should try it out. I was going to post more but I am taxed from my dealings with Anon. Thanks for reading and Anon go suck some rotten eggs and stick your head up your ass. Then grow some cajones and leave a name.

Super Bowl Sunday

Its the day we all look forward too. I was so excited. I loved the commercials. I especially love the ones that make me laugh out loud. We were rooting for both teams. I wanted to Cards to win becuase they were such underdogs and the steelers to win because so many fans back home love them. So either way we could not go wrong. We ended up getting subway for dinner. I love that place so cheap and so good.

Ro is getting me a laptop. I want one really bad so I can lay in bed and blog to my hearts delight. I am being patient as I would love a cute pink one. See this man adores me. He tells me "I have to keep my baby happy." I think we have true love that cannot be vanquished. So another good day in history.