What I am doing to improve me!

An awesome friend of mine has brought it to my attention that I am neglecting myself! So I have made myself a promise...I am going to focus more on Susan and less on being Big Ro's wife and lil Ro's mom. Yes that is a big part of me but I also need to remember that I am an individual. I have wants and needs just like them and I deserve to be pampered. So here is what I am doing...when I get angry I am taking a time out. I am going to focus on positive and not so much negative! I am going to inquire about what it takes to get into my desired career field. I am no longer going to settle for a job I want a life. So to make it short I am going to focus a little more on me. I encourage others also to do the same...thanks for helping me out good friend. You know who you are.

My nice weekend

So this weekend we went to denver with my sister in law. We had a very nice time and I cannot wait to see them again. We played in the yard and even got some shopping done. I bought the kids chocolates and well we had a barbeque. It was fun all around. So life is ok right now. Wasnt on very long this weekend because we were enjoying the finer things in life. Love and family...Enjoy these pics.

5 Things I want you to know

I have been tagged by Jennifer . Anyway here I go....
5 things I want my kids to know.
1. You guys are not perfect but I love you more then life myself and would willingly give my life for yours.
2. You will make me proud whatever you do and whoever you become. You are my children and I could not ask for more.
3. Life is more then money. Yes it does help things but the best things in life are love and true happiness.
4You do not have to settle. You can always strive to be more.
5. Your grandma would be very proud of you guys. I know she is watching you from heaven.

5 things you want to tell you children when they are grown up.
1. Do not go to bed angry. You never know what could happen and may not wake up to make it right.
2. Be grateful for the time we have together. You can make new things happen but your cant replace what has happened.
3. I know I am not perfect but I tried my best. I used the knowlege I gained to make you who you are.
4. Enjoy the small things in life they are the things that you remember in the long run and most rewarding.
5. Sometimes God will through you obstacles you think you cannot handle with prayer and guidance you can get through anything.

5 things you want to tell your child before you die.
1. You are the best thing that happened to me no matter what.
2. You are beautiful regardless of what the world may think.
3.I am your mother and I have taught you many things. I pray you take them to heart but know you guys have taught me the most. Love
4. I know sometimes it seems like I was a mean mom but I only did what I thought was right and I just wanted to protect you. In my eyes you will always be my baby.
5. Your family is all you have. You need to stand with them even if you dont agree with them.

5 things you want your child to know before she dies.
1. I want them to know true partnership and love .
2. Children are innocent and the richest thing a person can leave behind.
3. A good marriage is not the one that always gets along but the one that struggles along and picks each other up when they fall.
4. The joy of sharing what you have but always have the will to give more.
5. That they made me proud and that they have made their children proud.

Jennifer thanks for doing this. I am bawling like a baby. Sure makes you reflect though huh?

I tag anelys, samy, Heather and Meaghan! I look forward to your answers.

I got a camera

I just got a Sony dsc-t700 from Best Buy for a good price. I am getting used to it right now as we speak. It is so different from that old canon I had. Here are some sample pics. I hope you guys enjoy.








Dh and I are having a little problems but I think we both have a tendency to over react. I am learning I need to cry sometimes to let it out or I will just lose it. Sometimes I also need to just say screw the world and do my own thing. I am sure you guys understand. We are going to denver this weekend and I am so excited. We are making a video for my family in California. The kids are going to have a great time. I love being a family again and maybe we will be somewhat normal now that I have a confidante. Don't worry about me. I just tend to dwell on negative. I promise I will post positive on here too. No more negative ninnies ok? Sometimes just to send this all out in the dark void of the internet makes it less likely I will snap on my dh. Thanks for listening and I look forward to sharing more pics very soon.

So hard to watch it all

So here mommy is going crazy. I am chasing lil bit and running back and forth getting stuff for Roana. Life is moving so darn fast. Can you believe its already near the end of February! So guess what? We got another Wii. We had 2 before but had to sell them because of finances but thanks to uncle sam and incredible luck we scored. You guys should really think of getting one! Anyone have any familys out there with them? We are looking for friends. Post your friend id and we can meet up! Still checking out cameras. I am looking at a Sony n2 hopefully I can get a good deal. Wish me luck!

I hate Holidays!!!!!

I swear when it is my birthday forget it is please. I am so tired of looking forward to holidays just to have my hopes dashed when something goes wrong. We brought home pizza so we would not have to fight with crowds. The kids were doing fine until Roana brought out the candy and Lil Ro wanted some too. I really wish the teachers would leave that crap at home. So Roana pushed her brother and I went over and punished her. Well to make matters worse Big Ro went in and punished her too. I am so angry at him right now. I told him I was taking my shit and leaving him. I cannot take this crap anymore. I swear no more birthdays, no more christmas and No MOre Valentines day! I dont want it and its not worth it. I hope everyone had a great one maybe it makes mine less miserable!

Life can't get much better!

My funny Valentines

So things have gotten a bit better. I am learning tolerance for my dh and children. I still sometimes wish I could rip all my hair out strand by strand. I'm sure you mommys understand.

I am so excited. We have finally gotten up the nerve to call my sister in law. We are going to visit her this weekend. Hope everything goes well. I cannot wait to see my nephews so you guys can expect lots of pictures.

What do you do when you feel like your marriage is falling apart?

Yesterday was a nice day. We went out to dinner and yes it ended early because my son is a holy terror. We came home and I finished my dinner because you know 1/4 of your meal is not enjoyed. We came home went to bed and fell asleep. I was really looking forward to this weekend. We had no specific plans but I knew life would be good.

I should have known. Something somehow, somewhere would ruin this weekend. Ro and I woke up cuddling and chatting. I was getting up to make his other half of his steak. I opened the box it was gone. I thought maybe ro had eaten it at night. You know stranger things have happened but he turned beet red. Roana had been the culprit. I am trying to watch what she eats but it is impossible when she is so independent. That is a whole other post though.

Ro and I got into it. A lot of nasty things were said on both parts. For example I told him I went to the car so he could enjoy his food. He then told me He was not like me who scarfed my food down. Ok I shared with the kids and finished at home I am not a pig. Then he told me to look in the mirror and that I looked like a busted can of biscuits. Ok that was it. I smacked his leg and told him men are not supposed to have breasts. When I was younger I had bulimia. I could not even lose weight with that. Currently when I feel down with myself I do not eat. Maybe a meal a day. So I fear these crazy ways will start on me again. Sometimes I wonder if this is even worth it. Should I put up with it? We are all entitled to a bad day but what do you do when it seems like there is only one good day and the rest is bad? Thanks for listening to me vent.

Happy Birthday My Love, My Life!

I know he doesn't read my blogs but today is my husbands 32nd birthday. I cannot believe we have Celebrated 9 bithdays so far in our journey together. I tried to convince him to stay home today but he said we can celebrate this weekend. The funny thing is I do not think he looks 32 at all. He is getting more handsome with age. I am so proud to call him my husband. Yes we have bad and good days but honestly the good outweighs the bad. Like yesterday he told me I was the best thing to happen to him and he wanted us to be togther forever.

Thank you God for blessing this earth with an angel and i am so glad you blessed me with him. I love you Rogelio for today and forever!

The good, the bad and the ugly

Life is very very short! I am so very excited. This time last year Rogelio and I were worried about life in general. He was working a temp agency but life was good. Well as of today he is now employed full time. He is offered a great position with the company and will be getting full benefits as of a couple weeks. We will have insurance again! Life is getting better now!

These terrible twos are killing me...lil ro is sucking the energy right out of me. Little boys are so much harder then little girls. They test, touch and taste anything and everything. But I would not trade him for the world.

I miss my mom alot lately. I long to pick up the phone and hear her voice. It still amazes me that she was taken from me so quickly. I know though she looks down upon me and smiles. Well thats it for today..god bless

A look into the Real Me...

Most of you guys know me as mommy or wife to Ro. But today I am going to give you the story to who I am and what made me who I am. I was born in 1980 to a wonderful couple named Debra and Stephen. I was the first grandchild and their firstborn in all ways I was the golden child. On my first birthday my parents conceived my sister and life from there was never the same. She was supposed to be the boy so I was pushed away for a little while and I was a little resentful I suppose what kid would not be. My grandparents however embraced me and loved me like I was the best thing since sliced bread. To make a long story short my sister was born and life went on.

My parents bought a house on Princeton and everything was supposed to be great. My mom took a night shift at the hospital so we could afford the mortgage. I remember walking over there with my smurf clutched in my arms so excited to have a backyard. This house would be the house to make or break me.

The years passed on and my parents marriage suffered. My mother became more and more frusturated with us girls. Her patience wore thin as her marriage suffered and she became very abusive. My memories unfortunately are mostly of her telling me to be a real woman and hit her back. I had many black eyes and many shed tears. Worst of all my dad would do nothing.

As I grew older I learned the best solution was to stay away from home. Find whatever activity I could become involved in and join. I had to balance school, home and relationships. I remember walking home a mile each way just so I could be in a club that would give me some sanity. I had infatuation with authority figures in my life and eventually i finally found a healthy relationship.

I was 12 years old. I met a neighbor boy and he would be my first real boyfriend. He was a good kid but it was not meant to be. We had to move my parents lost their house. We moved into a townhome and my sister and I had to share a room. It was very depressing. I honestly remember struggling for my life. I had an addiction to pain relievers if you could believe that. I took a bottle of tylenol in less then 2 weeks. I also became a religious fanatic. I was obsessed with weight loss.

In 1998 I graduated. My life turned around when I signed up for webtv. I met a wonderful man and my parents finally started to lighten up. My dad smacked me against a wall one night when I had talked to Ro for a 500 phone bill. I was fed up. That summer I had worked at a summer camp. I saved all my money for college payments. That night after talking to my love I decided to come see what a normal woman would do. I bought a plane ticket to Colorado and met my love.

December that year I hopped on a plane. I got off and looked in his eyes and honestly I never looked back. He has completed me and has helped me overcome all these hurdles. He is my life and I would not trade him for anything. My children will NEVER suffer any of this. I will turn myself into the authorities before my babies suffer. With Ro by my side I will survive. So ladies noone is perfect and no life is perfect. Now you all know just a little bit more about me.