My near perfect life

Yea I wish. The kids were sick until yesterday. I love Colorado but the weather changes so rapidly here. Oh well. I am so tired and ready for the big christmas party on Saturday. Adults only....maybe Ro and I can finally kick back and be a couple. May god bless you all and enjoy this...my first official family video with my family.

trying to be good again

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I am in love!!!!!

So far this weekend has been wonderful! Well for the most part. Saturday we went to get chinese food and played at a park. The dog ran off to the creek again and I was soooo scared. My heart stopped. He came back after the longest 7 minutes of my life. I am sorry but in freezing temps and snow flurries if the dog wants bigger and better things he wins! But no worries he returned.

We went to a park to play with our new video camcorder. It is so nice. The pictures are vibrant and I swear it is new. I need to edit the video and post it later. LoL. I also took some pictures of my rugrats. They are nice. I love them so much. Rogelio and the kids are my main focus in life right now. Ro asked what I wanted for christmas I want them to be happy that is all.

Noone else matter noone. I do not want people to put them down. I am part of them. They can have their happiness and live their lives. We will thrive. I dont want my family's pity. Also on the contrary I will not also let other family suffer because noone deserves that. I am there for those who need me. I hope everyone is well and that you are all as blessed as I am. Thanks for looking.

Countdown to Christmas

Last night I swore I would not get into the hype! I swore the cold would keep me cuddled up warm in my blankets. However when I heard the wind at 5 am it beckoned me. The black friday sales. I must go on. Dh was already awake and said "Baby you wanna brave it?" Hell ya, I wanted to scream. This day is almost another holiday for me. Yea I know I was feeding the commercialism. But yesterday was not a stereotypical thanksgiving either. We bundled our two babies in their coats and headed to the car. It is flurrying. I went to an game store and scored a collecters editon halo 3 for 74 when normally is 125. Then went over to toys r us. Heck no never again. The line was wrapped around the store 4 times. NO NO NO toy is worth that frusturation. LoL. So off we headed to target. Santa called me and told me my son would like a motorcycle so they had one one sale for 50. I snatched the last one ran to the registers and checked out. Then circuit city for dvds for 3.99 for 50. After we went to Babies R Us. I got diapers...their brand that value pack for $10 each. I only got three as I hope to start potty training here very soon. So this is the beginning the countdown to christmas. Surprisingly I am very very excited now. We have 3 parties to attend and our own special day. Thank god for good friends and my loving family.

Wow I feel So Strange

Here it is beautiful Thursday and I woke up to a dusting of snow on the ground. Usually at this time I start preparing my turkey and pies. But not this year. This year we are going to our friends house and its bring your own dish. Well we choose to get a HoneyBaked ham. I have a 5$ coupon so it should be very good. I am so excited. No hustle and also I will enjoy the time I have with the friends who have blessed me this year. I am so very excited.

Also we have finally invested in a new to us camcorder. I love it. I am going to take the kids outside in a few and tape them playing in the snow. The camera is for sale at walmart still at 249 before tax here is the link

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5614754

Get this. I got it for a whooping 95.00 because I got great hook-ups. LoL I cannot wait to share video worthy of sharing. So just wanted to say hi! I give thanks to all of you this year. Thanks for standing by my side.

I've Been tagged

I've been tagged by kelly & erica & anelys

So, here are 8 random things about me.

1. I have 2 deceased parents that where lost after thier divorce after 20 years.

2. I have a dream to swim with fish.

3. I am obsessed with my husband. I would give my life for his.

4. On my ankle I have a burn that is over 20 years old. I got it when I poured hot water on my sock when I was 7.

5. I broke my arm when I was a little girl. I have never had stiches though.

6. I love my in-laws and my mom's side of her family but cannot stand my sister, her hubby or my dads side of the family (with a few exceptions of course)

7. I have more than one best friend. I know they would give thier life for mine.

8. I am a shopaholic....but I dont like to buy anything unless it is from the secondhand store or the clearance rack.


Now you all know some tidbits about me. I tag....

guess all my bloggers where already tagged.

Yesterday got better

Ro came home and we talked. I apologized for screwing up and he was sorry because he didnt know I had new shoes on. Before we picked Roana up from school, I took my boy Ro-n to the park to play. It was so darn cute. He tried playing with the big kids but to no avail.

Here is the video hope you enjoy. Please ignore my voice!

It is One of THOSE Days

I was so excited. I was going to have lunch at my daughters school. Of course I had to get ready and little man too. He looked so darn cute. I went to target this morning and bought a new outfit for the 3 parties we have this christmas. It is very nice. It is a cream and black lace tunic and a nice flowy black skirt. I even got 4 inch heels and all headband. All for the price of 13.00. I was so proud. I came home and did my sons hair and got him ready. I got the diaper bag ready and went to wait outside. Well imagine me holding a 22 lb toddler who is trying to scramble to the park in a new pair of shoes and clothes. These ones to be exact
Here is the clothes




Shoes

So I go out at scheduled time and my dh is not there. So I walk around the building and come upstairs he is sitting at the computer. We are running a little behind. We get to the school and I look for my wallet. It is not there. Crap...we cannot eat lunch with her. I am so disappointed. I go outside and get upset with dh. He then rips the nametag off and see I will see you when you get home. He feft me standing in front of the school. We came together so I had to walk home. Granted we live 2 blocks from here but still in new shoes its not comfortable especially when you are carrying a baby that heavy with no stroller.

So I come home and relax then he calls. He said he went in for a reason. It is my fault he offered to get the money this morning. I made it easy and it all backfired. Roana understood thank god but I am crushed. Why does bad things always happen when I look my best? I will post some pics of little man...he is the best thing that happened today. Why can't I do anything right?

When you're a mom

So finally reality smacked me. When you're a Mom it seems like you are no longer your own person. It is sad when every word out of my mouth comes out as "Hi I am Roana's mom." Or a kid in the class recognizes me and says hi roanas mom and I turn around and say Hi. I am no longer my own person but you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world. My children are my joy and noone can take that away from me!

On the drama side, things are starting to die down. I am ignoring them and my friends are sticking by my side. I think they are saviors for that. Its times like this that you realize who is who in your life. I am learning alot of stuff I would have never known.

I am appreciating each day as it was my last. I am loving my husband and falling deeper in love. Screw the world if they look down on us. We were meant to be we are soul mates.


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I have loss Nothing...I have only Gained My Self-Respect

I swear a big burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like a free spirit now. I am no longer afraid to be affectionate with my hubby and I now realize everyone has their quirks noone is perfect. Big Ro is there for me. He comforts me and makes me feel so really beautiful. When I think of all God has done for me the best thing he gave me was Webtv. Without it he would have ended up with that terror of a girlfriend as a wife and I probably would have been a lot worse off. These last couple of days that I have separated from my father's side of the family has been really peaceful. I got a few harassing emails but I just shrugged them away. My children can sense the calmness radiating off my eyes and now are clinging to me. Is it possible that a negative family acceptance effects the family? I can conclusively say yes. Now that honestly I just don't give a hoot about them, I realize my whole household is a lot more content. We are enjoying life without them.

Can I tell you? My poor children never really had a relationship with any of those haters! My sister had saw my oldest daughter (age 6.9) a total of 3 times since she was born and my son (18 months) one time. But she has seen my cousins countless times. My poor children cannot even point to a picture and recognize her. Sooooo in my heart I feel they have not loss anything. I wish I could make them realize this. I wish I could make them disappear so I am choosing to ignore them. No my phone is not dead. I am sending you to voicemail. Just because I don't Instant Message you back does not make me the spawn of Satan. Pero Bueno, I have my friends. They are more support then you have ever given me. So give us a break and leave us alone. I wish they would GROW UP and move on to better more important things. Like we Have.

Thank you for following this journey with me. I am looking forward to growing only more positive. I am learning now that my Big Ro is the one I need to confide my fears and goals with. He in return is confiding and me. Strangely enough the family I thought I couldn't live without is the family I am living without. So to them that hold on to the memories...Take Your Memories, I don't need them.

Have a great day and I look forward to updating more positive once again soon.

I am in the Mode today

This video describes my life right now to "t". I am going on now if only other people would follow my footsteps. All would be right.

Check out this video: Survivor



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Everything Is Beautiful

So this weekend was surprisingly one of the best weekends in years. We went down to Pueblo, CO to meet with a freind of ours and we drove around. Pueblo really is a nice town. Once you get inside of it. Then when we came back I logged onto the dreaded myspace. Its an addiction I tell you. I was bombarded by harassing email so off I went to block people who only wish me the worse. I am so tired of beating a dead horse now. Just leave me alone people.

Sunday Ro and I had to get out of the house. Outside of the Springs about 40 minutes is a quiet little town called Calhan. The people are friendly and there is a County funded park called Paint Mines. We got everyone ready and took our dog. We talked alot in the car and it was very nice. We drove up and crap it was an uphill walk. I dreaded it when I pulled out our jogger stroller. But then it felt so good to work out for a change. I looked to my right and on what looked like a creek bed was a small sign marked trail. I looked at Big Ro and told him lets see where it goes. We followed it back and we found the most beautiful rocks I have seen. They where tinted white, purple and even some gold. It was amazing. I realized then I am in love with Colorado and sometimes think I could not live with out it. I looked at my amazing man and I realized how truly blessed I am. I just wish he could realize I am really connected to him. Oh well its been 9 years. We have a great connection. We then went to the segunda and I found a nice baby backpack for Lil Ro for .50. So next time we can go higher into the rocks. Well thats all so far today. I will post some pictures for your enjoyment.

























Have a blessed day everyone and hope these pictures meet your liking.

From the Sky Comes Many Blessings

So here I am, I am now focusing on positive instead of negative. I am putting all negativity outside of my life. It is way to short to let people get me down. I am so very happy right now. I have been reunited with a friend I have not spoken to in almost 10 years. I can thank all this drama for that. I can say she is a great support system and I pray our friendship can stay strong. It is times like this that you seperate the men from the boys or in my case the family from the frauds. I am so sorry I got some people into this but I think true colors came out. But Bueno I have been blessed because I can now see who is there for me. I know God has placed them all in my life for a reason and when I go back to Ohio, well life will be complete.

We had a great evening. We had some chinese food and then went over to a video store. It was a good evening. In the morning I spend well over an hour with my sister Carrie on the phone. It is amazing how we just picked up like there was no time lapse at all. Thank you girl for lifting me up when I needed it the most.

Ro-N now is saying thank you. He told the chinese lady it today. He astounds me. Roana is Roana. She keeps asking about Christmas and when it is. My Ro is impressing me so much. He is working all overtime tomorrow. I hope he only works 4-6 hours so we can do something nice. But at 16.50 an hour I will not complain. So not much new here on my front. I am now going to go crawl on couch with big Ro and watch some flicks.

Stay Strong and have faith all will come through in the end. The true colors come out and leave a rainbow from the people who are good.

Last Night Was Awesome

No not the way you ladies are thinking. Naughty, Naughty. Big Ro and I sat done and talked. I told him a little about my fears of him cheating. He looked at me like I was insane and told me he is just friends with a lot of people and will not change for anyone. He also told me he loves his gordita and will love me for as long as I allow. We talked about the drama that was going on in my family. We decided for now I am going to let it go. I am not saying I am talking to them again but also I refuse to feed the negativity. I know I have Ro and his family and my online family too. With everyone I have as a support system I am very strong now.

Roana is making me so proud lately. This morning she woke up and told me her tummy ached. I gave her two options stay home and go to the store with me Or go to school and try to survive. She looked at me with the strongest smile and said I think Ill go to school mommy. She also told me she loves school and wants to be a nurse. I asked her why not a Doctor? She responded "because mommy the dr needs a nurse to help him or the dr cannot fix the person!" It kinda makes sense but she is turning into a sweetie. Well when she is not wrestling with her bubba Lil Ro.

Lil Ro, I cannot tell you guys how much he has grown. He now weighs 21 lbs and is 33 inches long. He is my soldier. He is goofy though and has me pulling my hair out at times. He has learned to climb on the table and also how to draw a bath. Very scary but he is so much different then his sister. He now says Kaka (I know not nice), Hi Dada, peas (please), thank you, and a few other words. Honestly he is keeping me on my toes lately. LoL.

Rex my puppy is amazing. He is now trained to walk without a leash. He also is very independent. On Sunday we went out for a walk at a park. We forgot there was a creek he could jump into. We took off the leash to go after a ball and the next thing I saw was him sprinting off. I didn't think anything of it until dh shook his head. I ran over with LiL Ro in my arms and looked down. My puppy had jumped off a 20 ft ledge into the creek. I am so thankful he is ok and we got him out. I have learned now I need to control him.

Me, well I am just chilling. I am trying to take each day by day. I am no longer dwelling on hate and just striving to see my family succeed. Not everyone can be blessed as I am. Ro & I are going to have some down time again tonight so we will probably watch ghosthunters and a couple of movies. I am making spaghetti & meatballs, salad with olive oil vinagerette & whole wheat french bread. Then who knows what happens later. You can use your imaginations we are all grown ups.

So my good friends. If I don't post again tonight. Thank you for supporting and loving me. I know God has blessed me with each and every one of you. May we all have the strength to ignore those who only want to put us down. I know I am now learning that lesson too well. Much love and Peace to all.

Hope You Enjoy these Pictures

My Minnie


My Eeyore


My 3 Ro's


The View From My Apartment


I Love This Picture


My Lil Ro


My Princesa

Can we say overdramatic

Well my family has officially lost it. I have had to privatize my whole Myspace account. I have been getting threatening emails and never an apology. It breaks my heart but my family comes first. I am saddened that such racism is breaking my family apart. My children are my main focus right now and I will not let anyone get me down. I am so blessed that I have found a group of ladies that are Latina and support me no matter what. One day I know God will bless me and let me see them in person.

Big Ro & I have been talking a lot. I honestly have a fear of losing him lately. I don't know why but these dreams keep haunting me and I lose him to a Hispanic woman. I know its just my insecurities getting to me. He loves me and I have no reason to doubt it. I guess when the going gets tough it is hard to imagine someone sticking with you. My family has helped give me these crazy feelings.

I have a migraine today. I think it is from all this bull. I have been laying on the couch and chilling with my Lil Ro. I am going to sign off now but just wanted to say hey. My sister tried calling me but I am tired of all this drama. Thanks for caring.

Family Fact or Fiction?

So growing up I always assumed no matter what no matter the time or problem they would be here for me. How come when you marry within a family they think you stay the same? Well my sister has got a better bond with my uncle now instead of me, it saddens me a lot. She married a man who despises me and has made very insensitive comments towards my children and husband. So honestly we have a feud going on now between me and these freaks called family.

How would they like it if I would call them white trash? How would the word honky make them feel? Would they enjoy it if I called them redneck inbreds? All the answers above would give a resounding It would hurt. Why would they go and make fun of Hispanic origins? Why would they have to make themselves a better person? My family is my pride now. Yes I was born Caucasian but twice now I have carried a person who is half Mexican inside of me. This makes me part Mexican now too. Why cant they see that? You are insulting the very heritage I am currently embracing and will embrace until death! Yes I know it is now 2007 and we should not have these problems but yes we do! Sadly it is usually the ones we love the most who is sharing this hatred!

I know some people will say " You knew this was a factor when you married big Ro, but I expect the same respect I dish out. Unfortunately, this is affecting my family but I never see them anyway so not too much. I would rather have my strong husband and my beautiful children then have a accepted to them man. I love my man with his dark curly hair, luscious dark skin and gorgeous brown eyes. I will fall into them forever and noone will make me change that. I am happy and that is all that matters.

I pray tonight, white, black, hispanic, asian or whatever you may be. That you embrace the one you love and hold them close. Do not let society tell you the rules. Only let your heart guide you. Then only will the world be complete!

Hello World

This is my first blog outside of the forbidden myspace! My name is Susan and I am 27 years old. I live in Colorado and love it more every day I am here. I met my husband in October of 1998 and have loved him since I met him on Dec 5th in person. We have a beautiful daughter named Roana and a son who is 18 months right now who we call Ro-N or Jr. Hence the name MyLife with 3 Ro's. I really do look forward to this journey with you all and hope you can enjoy and suffer with me. I will post more of this blog later.